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Why I love Madonna for shouting at her 'diva bitch' fans


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Thanks to the vagaries of London transport, a tendency to over-commit myself and a hopeless sense of optimism about what can be achieved within a narrow time-frame, I am often very late. I have lost count of the number of times that I’ve slid into a restaurant, meeting or cinema seat, muttering “I am so, so sorry. I am literally the worst, when I’m really thinking “I achieved six impossible things before breakfast, my feet are wet, my armpits are sweaty, I’m starving and I ran the last half mile to get here. F*** you. F*** EVERYTHING.”



So I have a lot of love for Madonna, who was almost an hour late to her own gig at the MEN arena on Monday night, and instead of apologising, addressed the Manchester crowd with "All you bitches who keep complaining about it can shut the f*** up!"



Apparently technical issues had kept Madge from starting the show, as the video system crashed. “The video lights 75 per cent of my show. We can’t play in the dark,” she explained, adding: “I'm not back there eating chocolate and filing my nails and getting my extensions done."



She addressed it all to the complaining “diva bitches”. It’s interesting that 'diva' is the insult Madonna picked to fling at her fans- and that she assumed that was the sort of behaviour she was being accused of. She’s spent much of her career battling to be taken seriously in an industry that’s all about image, speaking out about ageism and sexism while maintaining a range of distinctive looks. Her comments highlight the inherent contradictions in our expectations of women, especially famous ones. They have to look fabulous, glossy and groomed - but spending time and money pursuing this image and meeting everyone’s expectations is thought to be trivial and selfish.



But sometimes selfishness needs to be celebrated. I fell in love with Madonna as a teen, when I was a desperately self conscious people-pleaser. I longed to be more like this woman who seemed to live entirely on her own terms, constantly shocking her fans, pulling the rug from under them and changing everything the second she felt bored.



Madonna is a law unto herself, and she’s never rushed to meet anyone’s expectations. When every other high profile woman in the world, from Taylor Swift to Nadiya from Bake Off, seems pressured to make sweetness and likeability part of their brand, it’s refreshing to watch Madonna refusing to apologise and play that game.



I can’t count the number of times that I’ve watched other women saying sorry for something that wasn’t their fault. I’m always at it - when someone bumps into me, if I don’t have the right change, or even if I feel like I haven’t been to the gym enough. Every unnecessary apology undermines our presence. How can we be taken seriously if we willingly make ourselves into doormats, constantly putting ourselves down and diminishing our right to exist?



Is it more important that other people find us easy going and likeable, or that we value ourselves properly and allow ourselves to make mistakes? Our words and actions will never be observed and respected if we’re always taking them back and trying to make ourselves smaller.



Madonna’s behaviour on Monday night has reminded me that at 30, I still sometimes feel like a horribly self-conscious teenager, and it’s time to snap out of it. She’s shown me that I’m allowed to get angry, shout and stand my ground - and if I worried less about being liked, I might be respected more.



When teen pop idol Justin Bieber keeps his young fans waiting for two hours, saying “It’s my gig and I’ll go out when I like,” he’s just enhancing his bad boy reputation. No-one seems surprised that he’s turning his back on the fans who have formed the motor that has run his relatively short career.



Yet, Madonna’s fans - people who have chosen to follow a woman who has been excommunicated by the Catholic church - were posting tweets that made them sound like the dullest people in Middle England writing grumpy letters to Jeremy Vine on Points Of View.



If anyone has earned the right to be late, it’s Madonna. In the fickle, fan led world of pop she’s one of the few performers whose career doesn’t depend on people pleasing. When you’ve inspired and entertained millions of people across the world over 35 years, no-one is allowed to treat you like a Yodel driver who has missed a delivery slot. I’m sure some of the fans at the MEN had waited a lifetime to see her. Madonna knows she’s worth an extra hour of their time.



Article available here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/why-i-love-madonna-for-shouting-at-her-diva-bitch-fans/


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Madonna is a law unto herself, and she’s never rushed to meet anyone’s expectations. When every other high profile woman in the world, from Taylor Swift to Nadiya from Bake Off, seems pressured to make sweetness and likeability part of their brand, it’s refreshing to watch Madonna refusing to apologise and play that game.

I can’t count the number of times that I’ve watched other women saying sorry for something that wasn’t their fault. I’m always at it - when someone bumps into me, if I don’t have the right change, or even if I feel like I haven’t been to the gym enough. Every unnecessary apology undermines our presence. How can we be taken seriously if we willingly make ourselves into doormats, constantly putting ourselves down and diminishing our right to exist?

Is it more important that other people find us easy going and likeable, or that we value ourselves properly and allow ourselves to make mistakes? Our words and actions will never be observed and respected if we’re always taking them back and trying to make ourselves smaller.

Madonna’s behaviour on Monday night has reminded me that at 30, I still sometimes feel like a horribly self-conscious teenager, and it’s time to snap out of it. She’s shown me that I’m allowed to get angry, shout and stand my ground - and if I worried less about being liked, I might be respected more.

When teen pop idol Justin Bieber keeps his young fans waiting for two hours, saying “It’s my gig and I’ll go out when I like,” he’s just enhancing his bad boy reputation. No-one seems surprised that he’s turning his back on the fans who have formed the motor that has run his relatively short career.

Yet, Madonna’s fans - people who have chosen to follow a woman who has been excommunicated by the Catholic church - were posting tweets that made them sound like the dullest people in Middle England writing grumpy letters to Jeremy Vine on Points Of View.

If anyone has earned the right to be late, it’s Madonna. In the fickle, fan led world of pop she’s one of the few performers whose career doesn’t depend on people pleasing. When you’ve inspired and entertained millions of people across the world over 35 years, no-one is allowed to treat you like a Yodel driver who has missed a delivery slot. I’m sure some of the fans at the MEN had waited a lifetime to see her. Madonna knows she’s worth an extra hour of their time.

Article available here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/why-i-love-madonna-for-shouting-at-her-diva-bitch-fans/

this is so important

love it. I complimented the writer too.

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Thanks to the vagaries of London transport, a tendency to over-commit myself and a hopeless sense of optimism about what can be achieved within a narrow time-frame, I am often very late. I have lost count of the number of times that I’ve slid into a restaurant, meeting or cinema seat, muttering “I am so, so sorry. I am literally the worst, when I’m really thinking “I achieved six impossible things before breakfast, my feet are wet, my armpits are sweaty, I’m starving and I ran the last half mile to get here. F*** you. F*** EVERYTHING.”

So I have a lot of love for Madonna, who was almost an hour late to her own gig at the MEN arena on Monday night, and instead of apologising, addressed the Manchester crowd with "All you bitches who keep complaining about it can shut the f*** up!"

Apparently technical issues had kept Madge from starting the show, as the video system crashed. “The video lights 75 per cent of my show. We can’t play in the dark,” she explained, adding: “I'm not back there eating chocolate and filing my nails and getting my extensions done."

She addressed it all to the complaining “diva bitches”. It’s interesting that 'diva' is the insult Madonna picked to fling at her fans- and that she assumed that was the sort of behaviour she was being accused of. She’s spent much of her career battling to be taken seriously in an industry that’s all about image, speaking out about ageism and sexism while maintaining a range of distinctive looks. Her comments highlight the inherent contradictions in our expectations of women, especially famous ones. They have to look fabulous, glossy and groomed - but spending time and money pursuing this image and meeting everyone’s expectations is thought to be trivial and selfish.

But sometimes selfishness needs to be celebrated. I fell in love with Madonna as a teen, when I was a desperately self conscious people-pleaser. I longed to be more like this woman who seemed to live entirely on her own terms, constantly shocking her fans, pulling the rug from under them and changing everything the second she felt bored.

Madonna is a law unto herself, and she’s never rushed to meet anyone’s expectations. When every other high profile woman in the world, from Taylor Swift to Nadiya from Bake Off, seems pressured to make sweetness and likeability part of their brand, it’s refreshing to watch Madonna refusing to apologise and play that game.

I can’t count the number of times that I’ve watched other women saying sorry for something that wasn’t their fault. I’m always at it - when someone bumps into me, if I don’t have the right change, or even if I feel like I haven’t been to the gym enough. Every unnecessary apology undermines our presence. How can we be taken seriously if we willingly make ourselves into doormats, constantly putting ourselves down and diminishing our right to exist?

Is it more important that other people find us easy going and likeable, or that we value ourselves properly and allow ourselves to make mistakes? Our words and actions will never be observed and respected if we’re always taking them back and trying to make ourselves smaller.

Madonna’s behaviour on Monday night has reminded me that at 30, I still sometimes feel like a horribly self-conscious teenager, and it’s time to snap out of it. She’s shown me that I’m allowed to get angry, shout and stand my ground - and if I worried less about being liked, I might be respected more.

When teen pop idol Justin Bieber keeps his young fans waiting for two hours, saying “It’s my gig and I’ll go out when I like,” he’s just enhancing his bad boy reputation. No-one seems surprised that he’s turning his back on the fans who have formed the motor that has run his relatively short career.

Yet, Madonna’s fans - people who have chosen to follow a woman who has been excommunicated by the Catholic church - were posting tweets that made them sound like the dullest people in Middle England writing grumpy letters to Jeremy Vine on Points Of View.

If anyone has earned the right to be late, it’s Madonna. In the fickle, fan led world of pop she’s one of the few performers whose career doesn’t depend on people pleasing. When you’ve inspired and entertained millions of people across the world over 35 years, no-one is allowed to treat you like a Yodel driver who has missed a delivery slot. I’m sure some of the fans at the MEN had waited a lifetime to see her. Madonna knows she’s worth an extra hour of their time.

Article available here: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/why-i-love-madonna-for-shouting-at-her-diva-bitch-fans/

:clap: excellent article

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There's nothing they could do about the delay. But I still feel sorry for the fans. Knowing they missed a part of the show. Tickets are extremely expensive and (for many people) this may be the only time they get to see the cut songs performed live. Also, the delay can make travel difficult for a lot of people.

It would have been nice for Madonna to do something special for those fans, such as perform a one-off song during the acoustic set or something. Even coming out early to do a few non-show songs while waiting for the system to reload would've been nice.

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:thumbsup::clap:

She was not late because she took her dog to the pet beauty parlour, this is not someone else

Some people are retarded and should get a grip

Madonna is renowned for her discipline

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I was there and it really didn't feel like she was that late, there's been plenty of times I've been to gigs and the artist / band has been late, but they've never made the headlines because of it. At the end of the day I still got to see the queen, and she was amazing.

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:thumbsup::clap:

She was not late because she took her dog to the pet beauty parlour, this is not someone else

Some people are retarded and should get a grip

Madonna is renowned for her discipline

Exactly! Maybe that's why I'm not bothered when she's late. She is such a professional, I know that it's not because of something ridiculous. There are a lot of moving parts to her shows and everything is not going to work perfect all the time......that's just how it is with technology. She's actually been normal with her start times on RHT for the most part. More "normal" late for her standards. I truly think with MDNA she somehow got caught up in a bad cycle. It seems like she started getting later with her start times, therefore finishing later/getting to bed later.....which of course means she slept in later, starting rehearsals later, hair/make up later, late show time....repeat...repeat. That tour was especially long and grueling though, so I can understand. I can see why some people don't really give a fuck and say she should be on time regardless, but as a fan, I understand how grueling that must have been for her and didn't mind the wait.

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Guest Rocco Papa

What I love is that Madonna treats her fans like they're on the same level as her. She's not condescending or overly kind. She doesn't see herself as this huge star who has to please her fans. She just sees herself as a person. And her fans are just people too. That's why she tells them to be quiet during soundcheck, or that she doesn't like the flowers they gave her, or to stop being diva bitches! :laugh:

(aside from the fact that she always uses "bitches" as a term of endearment)

Some might see that as being mean, but I see it as being real. I prefer that. There are plenty of kind exchanges between her and her fans that most media and haters will never bother paying attention to.

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What I love is that Madonna treats her fans like they're on the same level as her. She's not condescending or overly kind. She doesn't see herself as this huge star who has to please her fans. She just sees herself as a person. And her fans are just people too. That's why she tells them to be quiet during soundcheck, or that she doesn't like the flowers they gave her, or to stop being diva bitches! :laugh:

(aside from the fact that she always uses "bitches" as a term of endearment)

Some might see that as being mean, but I see it as being real. I prefer that. There are plenty of kind exchanges between her and her fans that most media and haters will never bother paying attention to.

Precisely :clap:

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Exactly! Maybe that's why I'm not bothered when she's late. She is such a professional, I know that it's not because of something ridiculous. There are a lot of moving parts to her shows and everything is not going to work perfect all the time......that's just how it is with technology. She's actually been normal with her start times on RHT for the most part. More "normal" late for her standards. I truly think with MDNA she somehow got caught up in a bad cycle. It seems like she started getting later with her start times, therefore finishing later/getting to bed later.....which of course means she slept in later, starting rehearsals later, hair/make up later, late show time....repeat...repeat. That tour was especially long and grueling though, so I can understand. I can see why some people don't really give a fuck and say she should be on time regardless, but as a fan, I understand how grueling that must have been for her and didn't mind the wait.

:thumbsup:

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