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Daniel Kellison Remembers Time At Letterman (Madonna mentioned)

Guest Rocco Papa

By Guest Rocco Papa
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Guest Rocco Papa

Guest Rocco Papa

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Daniel Kellison wrote an article about his memories of his time working at Letterman. He included a section discussing Madonna's infamous appearance in 1994.

http://grantland.com/features/my-letterman-years/

Madonna

In 1994, if Julia Roberts was the biggest female movie star in the world, Madonna was arguably the biggest female star. At the same time, due to her pioneering promiscuity and her seemingly insatiable interest in surly actors, athletes, and rappers, she was also endless fodder for the tabloids — and late-night hosts. Dave loved her; she was the gift that kept giving. (As he was fond to repeat back then, “I have a theory about Madonna. I think she likes to shock us.”)

So we were very surprised when she agreed to come on the show.8 I spoke with her longtime rep, Liz Rosenberg, and she said Madonna was interested in coming on and basically giving it back to Dave — a little reciprocal ball-breaking, as it were.

This was, hypothetically, a problematic plan. Not that he couldn’t handle her, but Dave was a professional comedian. Madonna was a professional singer. This could go south quickly if un-reined. (Maybe you saw Madonna’spainful recent attempt at stand-up on Jimmy Fallon?)

After discussing it with Dave, I proposed a plan I thought was pretty bulletproof, that would make her look good, be “funny,” and satisfy her larger goal of making Dave squirm. I got on the phone with Madonna, who was surprisingly and truly lovely, and pitched my idea: How about you go on and complain that he’s been taking shots? He will say it’s exaggerated, he loves you, etc. — and then you say, “Oh yeah? I actually brought some tape from the show.” And then you show, in succession, three of the most horrible jokes he has told — and ask him to explain each one. That ensured his awkwardness — and the laugh. She signed off on the plan without hesitation. I then went and told Letterman I’d had a great talk with her and that she was super-engaged and receptive to the idea — and unless something went terribly wrong, I thought we were in good shape.

The day of the show, she arrived to much fanfare and press anticipation, but with no entourage. Her only accompaniment was her makeup person, Kevyn Aucoin. I walked up to her dressing room, knocked on the door, put out my hand, and said, “Hi, I’m Daniel.” She didn’t get up or offer her hand. Instead she said, “Suckmadick.” I took a beat. “Sorry?” She looked at Kevyn, smiled, and said it again, slower, like a petulant 8-year-old child challenging a parent: “Suck–ma–dick.” She and Kevyn began laughing hysterically. Immediately, I thought: We’re screwed. I smiled wanly and powered on: “Ha … OK, so this will pretty much go as we discussed. We’ve loaded up three pieces of video, each one worse than the other, and after each one …” She stopped me. “That’s too much to remember.”

Hmmm. I paused, now more annoyed than anything. “Uh, not really. It’s actually pretty simple — you show a tape. Get his reaction. Show another. Get his reaction. There are three …” “Yeah, I’m not going to remember all that.” Me, trying not to let my voice break and betray my now very urgent concerns: “Why not?” She started giggling again. “We smoked a little endo before we came here …”9 Fuccccckkkkkkk!!!!

I went down to Dave’s dressing room, which I tried not to do before the show. “We’re in trouble.” Very graciously, he didn’t tell me “I told you so,” instead, knotting his tie with a slight grimace, seemingly bracing himself for the storm.

The intro I wrote probably didn’t help matters: “Our first guest tonight is one of the biggest stars in the world, and in the past 10 years she has sold over 80 million albums, starred in countless films, and slept with some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry.” But there was no way we could have anticipated what followed. It was the most censored late-night broadcast in television history, with Madonna saying “fuck” 14 times. She took off her underpants and complained when Letterman wouldn’t smell them. And if you think Letterman was happy about all the subsequent attention and newspaper coverage the interview brought, you’d have guessed wrong. He always understood the privilege that came with the ability to broadcast, and the responsibility that accompanied it. Ratings and press were less a consideration.

Compounding matters was the fact that Madonna would not leave the stage. We bumped the next guest (a grocery bagger — an annual human interest competition winner that Dave, a former bagger himself, genuinely always enjoyed). Dave tried to say goodbye again. She wouldn’t leave. Counting Crows was just about to make its network television debut — and we were going to have to bump the band if Madonna didn’t budge. Sheila Rogers, the talent executive who has possibly given more bands their first breaks than anyone in the history of TV, went to Morty to ask what was happening. Morty then turned to me and said, “Get rid of her.” I said, “How am I supposed to get rid of her?” But the implication was clear: This was a problem I’d created, and now it was up to me to salvage the rest of the show. As Paul and the band blasted their mid-break song, I walked onstage and said loudly, “Say hi to the audience.” Madonna waved. As she waved, I took her hand, as if I was helping her up — and I did, in fact, lightly pull her up. And over the band I said loudly again, “Say goodbye …” Confused, she waved. Still holding her hand I led her offstage.

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Guest Rocco Papa

Guest Rocco Papa

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The interesting thing is, Rosie O'Donnell said in an interview on VH1 (it was shown in a special called Madonna's Greatest TV Moments) that she called Madonna the next day and asked her why she did it. Madonna told her that the people at Letterman encouraged her to swear, insisting they would bleep it, and that they thought it would be funny. She says none of that was Madonna's idea.

Rosie went on to say that she encouraged Madonna to go on Jay Leno afterwards and do the opposite.

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Guest Rocco Papa

Guest Rocco Papa

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That Leno interview was great tho! She was totally taking the piss out of everyone there!! :lmao:

"I want to play the flying rug in Beauty and The Beast!"

:rotfl:

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Guest Rocco Papa

Guest Rocco Papa

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Hopefully she appears on his final show

That's what I keep thinking too! They have such a history together and really seem to like each other. Her interviews with him are always so funny.

Maybe she'll take a break from rehearsals and stop by.

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Guest Pud Whacker

Guest Pud Whacker

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Cool article. Can't remember lines. Wonder how that affects her staying in character, if at all?

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Guest Rocco Papa

Guest Rocco Papa

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The aftermath...

"Bye daddy!" :lol:

"I'm not gonna say 'fuck' anymore!" :lmao:

In all honesty, though, Kellison's account of what happened that day seems very out of character for Madonna. To agree to a segment, then show up stoned to the studio and say "I'm not gonna remember all that" and ruin it. She has always been very professional and rehearsed. It's hard for me to imagine her acting like that. But, I guess we all have our bad days.

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TrueBlue Rising Star

TrueBlue

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Interesting article thank you! I think his account can be true. Honestly she seems stoned in the way she laughs and acts. And at that time of her life and career I can totally see her being very "oh fuck it" :)

I really hope she will do Lettermans last show! I don't know if it's possible to see it from here though.

Edited by TrueBlue
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Ai Papi Si. Proficient

Ai Papi Si.

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I think post-1992/1993 and hanging out with some pretty subversive men (Rodman, Tupac) she was in a definite combative mood at the time. The account sounds absolutely crazy knowing what we know about Madonna, but we are probably underestimating how angry she was around that time and I'm willing to wager that whatever strand of weed Madonna had smoked at the time made her really aggressive :lmao:

These days Madonna seems better at tuning out vitriol (kudos becuz it's harder than ever to filter out now), but back then she was probably reading stuff and letting it get to her. Probably drove her a little crazy for a brief period of time.

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TrueBlue Rising Star

TrueBlue

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Madonna can remember every step in multiple dance choreography pieces through an entire concert, but can't remember three video segment intros?! This Daniel Kellison is FULL OF SHIT.

I believe it was all attitude from Madonna actually, plus whatever she had smoked :)

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TrueBlue Rising Star

TrueBlue

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I think post-1992/1993 and hanging out with some pretty subversive men (Rodman, Tupac) she was in a definite combative mood at the time. The account sounds absolutely crazy knowing what we know about Madonna, but we are probably underestimating how angry she was around that time and I'm willing to wager that whatever strand of weed Madonna had smoked at the time made her really aggressive :lmao:

These days Madonna seems better at tuning out vitriol (kudos becuz it's harder than ever to filter out now), but back then she was probably reading stuff and letting it get to her. Probably drove her a little crazy for a brief period of time.

This

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Lucky Star One Community Regular

Lucky Star One

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I believe it was all attitude from Madonna actually, plus whatever she had smoked :)

Oh, I think it was all attitude. She came in with her own plan and wasn't interested in Daniel's typical TV bullshit. But Madonna the drug user....nah, ain't buyin' it.

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Madfan58 Collaborator

Madfan58

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There are too many conflicting accounts of this incident. Her friends have said the Late Show people encouraged her behavior then turned on her. She and this guy have hinted she was high and highly agitated. I remember after this appearance, so many casual fans hated her even more. She got her career back on track less than a year later. Could your fave? LOL

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nemo64 Rising Star

nemo64

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I think post-1992/1993 and hanging out with some pretty subversive men (Rodman, Tupac) she was in a definite combative mood at the time. The account sounds absolutely crazy knowing what we know about Madonna, but we are probably underestimating how angry she was around that time and I'm willing to wager that whatever strand of weed Madonna had smoked at the time made her really aggressive :lmao:

These days Madonna seems better at tuning out vitriol (kudos becuz it's harder than ever to filter out now), but back then she was probably reading stuff and letting it get to her. Probably drove her a little crazy for a brief period of time.

What she told Howard Stern during the March 2015 interview:

"I don't know, I was in a weird mood that day. I was dating Tupac Shakur at the time, and the thing is he like got me all riled up about life in general. So when I went on this show, I was feeling very gangster."

Discussion about Letterman starts at 28:14

https://soundcloud.com/howardstern/madonna

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