funkydita

Her shoving and jabbing that elephant, hair all teased and in full gypsy garb is too much. I wish I was rich. My lovely health freak friend is staying with me. She brought a gift...Romanian bee pollen. Um...

I love that performance, she is everything (sorry, except for the ballads). But the question is did she get Michael an ELEPHANT?

Why thank you. Shall I call Ian McKellen and David Geffen? Do they need to make it official? If there's a ceremony, I'm Britney and you're Christina. Elton can be Missy.

I'm visiting 1996 and it's Just as good as I remember (except for the awful tartan bondage trousers I wore). http://tinyurl.com/4xrscwl

Order the sushi and champagne, I may be a Meeja Power A Gay once again, albeit on a freelance basis for the next three months. Details to follow.

Well, I'm going to C4 this afternoon to discuss some freelance work so an updated CV would come in handy. I'll wear my best Grayson Perry as Claire outfit just for you.

Extra anchovies, capers and olives for me please. And I'll have a glass of wine. Only the one though, it being lunch and all.

Yeah, well, the sushi's gone off, the salad's limp and all the girls saw me crying. I was so embarrassed.

UGH. I've been in a downward Daily Mail comments reading spiral. Not good. Read the comments on the following and try not to gouge your eyes out. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1370987/British-country-villages-want-remain-white-middle-class.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1370854/Coronation-Street-First-look-Antony-Cotton-Charlie-Condou-soaps-gay-par...

I love that you're a renegade gay movie reviewer. Question is, what happens with The Next Worst Thing?

I'm going to spend much of the evening hanging outside AA meetings in search of my Larry Fortensky. It's what she would have wanted.

Yay! You know you're an Power Meeja A Gay when you have champagne at lunchtime. I remember those days. Barely. I'm dressed like an aged Greek widow in mourning. It's for Liz.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want this http://tinyurl.com/5rhoyx2 for my bday. Like seriously WANT it. Is it too much (it's unframed)?

OK. If you're going for the coke though you may want to forego the nibbles. Just sayin'. Oh and the rentboy? Sure but remind me to tell you someday about my unending amphetamine wank loop INJURY.

You get to work and I'll go shopping. Can I borrow your credit card? I'll buy you a nice Italian birthday cake from Konditor and Cook.

I'll see you down there in 5 minutes. Is the coffee OK? I'm currently doing flat whites.

I don't think they do. I do have spares of Vanity Fair 09, Q 09, Elle 09 and the last Interview, if you want. Honestly. OH and BITCH PLEASE, as IF you dry-clean. You KNOW you take your DUTTY panties out of your leather clutch and wash them in the sink (and lick cat food off your thumb).

Ugh. I know. At least you've got an hour on me. I'm thinking of going shopping but don't know if I CAN BE FUCKED. Meh.

Really? Can we?? I'll meet you there later. I have to pop to 1993 first to pick up my leather bra (I'll be wearing it for the service). Shall I bring Jenny Shimizu with me too?

"I think in angles" *Mumble. Stumble. Chew. Blank stare*. "Yeah. Sure. Oh YEAH".

BALLS TO YOU!

My friend Beyonce...

It's in the REVIEWS section. I wouldn't be so sure, I'm fickle, I'll hate it by tomorrow. How's you, boo?

Hard day at the office, dear? I'm off to bathe...

I know, outrageous. Obviously, it's HIM stalking ME. He may tell you otherwise but I said it first, so it's true.