funkydita

Extra anchovies, capers and olives for me please. And I'll have a glass of wine. Only the one though, it being lunch and all.

Well, I'm going to C4 this afternoon to discuss some freelance work so an updated CV would come in handy. I'll wear my best Grayson Perry as Claire outfit just for you.

Order the sushi and champagne, I may be a Meeja Power A Gay once again, albeit on a freelance basis for the next three months. Details to follow.

Why thank you. Shall I call Ian McKellen and David Geffen? Do they need to make it official? If there's a ceremony, I'm Britney and you're Christina. Elton can be Missy.

I love that performance, she is everything (sorry, except for the ballads). But the question is did she get Michael an ELEPHANT?

Her shoving and jabbing that elephant, hair all teased and in full gypsy garb is too much. I wish I was rich. My lovely health freak friend is staying with me. She brought a gift...Romanian bee pollen. Um...

It's taken me DAYS to watch that :unforseen technical issues, we apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused:. ANYWAY, I adored it - classy and dark, with a wink, reminds me of one man show. The outro is gorgeous.

http://tinyurl.com/bmoucy http://tinyurl.com/6hc42fa http://tinyurl.com/3jgo54r http://tinyurl.com/5urbbfv http://tinyurl.com/6xw2wsu http://tinyurl.com/3m...

the last one should be http://tinyurl.com/3mlck7d

I saw a guy on the tube tonight with what looked like a pound shop version of the Francois Sagat head tattoo. I can exclusively confirm that it ONLY looks hot on Francois.

Have you looked behind the sofa? I got mah hurr did and I've come over all Martha Stewart and painted a stool.

Skype me or something, we'll do it together. I'm already wearing my peach jumpsuit.

http://tinyurl.com/6gqccag

OMG. Please tell me there's a special red phone that you used. Did you follow "STOP THE PRESS" with "WHO'S THAT? VICKI VALE"?

Get you, SENDING people places. To OTHER FLOORS and everything.

Oh God...I've done something REALLY BAD to my back. I'm doing that thing where I've got to turn my whole torso 'cos I can't move my head. What with THE OTHER issue, I reckon 35 is when it all goes to SHIT. MEH.

No dicks, big or small, were involved. Unfortunately. I'm jealous of your lunch, I'll be having something far more pedestrian. Maybe Daryl can get it on with Wesley?

Can you believe I've not seen it? It was on my list but never got around to it. I'm gonna buy it on Blu Ray, it looks GORGEOUS. Oh, Wesley? Only if he keeps his hair short. AND I'm having major issues with accessing nation at the moment, can you call the IT helpdesk? Thanks.

I'm gonna add it to my wishlist. Ugh, I'm almost crippled with my back. I woke up at 4am STUCK, unable to roll over.

Why, thank you. 35. IMAGINE.

THERE he is. Yay! It's overrated, that's what it's like. I'm so fucking busy. ALREADY. Et toi?

I'm HERE. Well, yes, I'm HERE on your profile but I'm also HERE in Wales. It's been a bit MEH. There was a rather awful argument the day before I got here. And I found the Cialis (*shudder*). Heather Mills isn't here, she's had an operation for carpal tunnel. Yeah, a REPETITIVE STRAIN INJURY. I dread to think what from. How's you dollface?

Man, I elaborated on the forgotten birthday, the overheard fucking, the making the gays sleep in separate bedrooms for years and the general poor state of father son relations. I MAY have said "I don't LIKE her and I don't TRUST her". Awkward. I'm envious of your Italian family Easter. Can your mamma adopt me? Tell her mine's dead, that's sure to work. xx

I'll start the formal arrangements when I get back to London. Does she need to see a photo? Tell her I look like Lionel Richie's clay head in Hello. That's what I'm told. NINE SIBLINGS? I'm hoping Gustafson's womb is a dry wizened old husk by now. If not, I'm going to have to have to sabotage the Cialis.

GLOOOOOOOOOOOOO. RIA.

GEE EL OH ARE EYE EH!

I'm sure she'd hate us, she apparently wasn't a fan of the gays. I'm still reading that Mapplethorpe book so, of course, I'm in a very Patti mood. Horses fucking rocks. I need to buy Just Kids to read next. Johnny Borrel is such a MASSIVE cunt.

He's a cunt but I totally agree on the Live Aid performance, it was all about them and Vadge.

The book is by Patti, about her relationship with Mapplethorpe. I'm not sure if she's a dyke, she's not so far in his biography. She's batshit crazy though.