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The 2005 MadonnaNation Awards


svperstar

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Since our original telecast was lost on the other board, I figured I would repost the commentary as it happened so people remember what it was like. This is along the lines of what you can expect this year in a couple months.

—OPENING—

BEST THREAD

FUNNIEST POSTER

MOST INFORMATIVE/HELPFUL

THE VOICE OF REASON

BEST ALIAS

—INTERMISSION—

MOST LIKELY TO BE BANNED

MOST OPINIONATED

CRANKIEST POSTER

HORNIEST POSTER

BIGGEST APOLOGIST

—INTERMISSION—

POSTER YOU’D MOST LIKE TO MEET

BEST-LOOKING POSTER

BEST PERSONALITY

MOST MYSTERIOUS

MOST OPTIMISTIC

—INTERMISSION—

BEST OBSCURE POSTER

BEST CROSSOVER POSTER

BEST NEW POSTER

BEST ALUMNI POSTER

MOST MISSED

—INTERMISSION—

THE MADONNANATION VANGUARD AWARD

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Starting off our big gala, the award for BEST THREAD

Our first two presenters are quite the characters. One is a tranny who keeps her peers in stitches with her outspokenness, and the other is a guy who would like to SEE the tranny in stitches -- VANITY_BONET and Lesbi Skankerson! :clap: :clap:

LESBI This is horrible. Why was I asked to present an award with RuPaul here?

VANITY UM MAYBE THAT BECAUSE YOU LUV ME AND JUST DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT U BITCH.

LESBI I’m not into shemales.

VANITY U WISH BITCH.

LESBI Anyhow, onto important business. The first award of the evening is “Best Thread.” Without further ado, here are your nominations:

¤ Mimi Loves KFC; award recipient, Dindi

¤ Create Your Own South Park Madonna; award recipient, Hafo

¤ I'm going on a HUNGER STRIKE...; award recipient, Riverwide

¤ Joan Collins is BALD! ; award recipient, !!!

¤ How will MADONNA celebrate her 47th birthday?; award recipient, mtzlplk

¤ COAD #1 in the US; award recipient, northernlad

VANITY I SO WON THIS.

LESBI Bitch, you aren’t nominated.

VANITY WELL IF THAT TRUE THAN I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO DO THE REVEAL, OK BITCH? *grabs envelope* UM OK, SO THE WINNER OF THIS AWARD IS:

Coad is #1 in the US…

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER Accepting the award for Best Topic is the topic starter, northernlad!

NORTHERNLAD Thank you for this honor, my fellow MNationers. It is an honor to see my thread over all the others walk away with this award, especially considering the direction it took shortly after it was created. :lol: Moreso than celebrating a Madonna victory, I’m glad I could set the stage for such a fabulous get-together for some good old Mimi bashing. :D

*applause*

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And now for our second award, FUNNIEST POSTER

Our next presenter is a multiple nominee tonight who was mysteriously shortlisted from this category (and no, he hasn’t let that little factoid escape our notice) -- johnnox! :clap: :clap:

JOHNNOX *scrambles to stage after applause dies down* Sorry I’m late everybody, I was backstage on my way out and I tripped over VANITY_BONET’s penis. :sneaky:

*audience laughs*

JOHNNOX I’ve been asked to present the Funniest Poster award this evening, apparently because svperstar felt sympathetic because I didn’t get the nomination that I deserved for it. :bad: Me not being in this category obviously means it’s no longer important, so why are we even presenting it? Oh well. Here are the nominees (or as I like to refer to them as, the usurpers).

Dr Lecter

Hafo

Queen Bitch

Suedehead

VANITY_BONET

VANITY *from backstage* I SO WON THIS.

JOHNNOX This isn’t the funniest LOOKING category, babe. *rips envelope open* Well what a surprise, your winner is…

Dr Lecter!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

DR LECTER :DThis is exciting beyond belief. I’m all verklemt. I feel like Niki Harris after being given a $50 gift certificate to KFC! :D

*audience laughter*

DR LECTER :DI really don’t look at myself as being funny, it’s just a natural thing. Half of the stuff wouldn’t be that funny if not for the fact that all this great material falls into my lap, though. So I guess I would like to thank all the usual suspects – Niki, Siedah Garrett, Madge, the MadonnaNationers (especially Suedehead), and so on. I wub you all. :inlove:

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The third award of the evening is the MOST INFORMATIVE/HELPFUL honor

Ladies and gents, please turn your attention to the podium for a girl who in her own right may very well be THE most informative and helpful person on Madonna sites in general. The proprietor of her own fantastic Madge web site -- Miss Madonnalicious!! :clap: :clap:

MISS MADONNALICIOUS Thanks for those words, svperstar, it’s an honor to be appreciated at a great place like this. :)And speaking of great, it’s such an honor and privelege to be the presenter of this award, which I consider to be the most important. Why? Because being informative and/or helpful in the Madonna community requires you to be a big knowledge base of details. It’s not easy, believe me. Your wisdom of all things Queen of Pop has to be thorough, for one, and you have to have the incentive to share that knowledge with others rather than keep it all to yourself. I guess you could also say that this is the category Madonna herself would consider the most important, because it is the one in which you get to share the most with others. So without further ado, here are your nominations:

gugarko

Hector

HolidayGuy

johnnox

svperstar

MISS MADONNALICIOUS No Vanity darling, you ain’t winning this one either. :angel: Your winner is actually…

Hector!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

HECTOR Wow guys, what an honor. I actually won this award last year too, didn’t I? :shy: It’s really incredible that you all think of me as being so helpful, I’ve certainly tried my fair share of it. Wasn’t I also the one who uploaded that big-ass video file of “Hung Up” on YouSendIt? Oh well, give and you shall receive as they say. :) I would like to thank everyone who voted for me, and thanks for making the place so awesome to be a part of.

:clap:

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Our fourth award of the evening is one of the most all-important: THE VOICE OF REASON

The two presenters at the stage now are like peas in a pod, and I’m not just saying that because they want to get into each other’s pants all the time. Put your hands together for -- Humble Neighborhood and PielDeMiel! :clap: :clap:

v

PIEL What’s up, y’all? Big up to Florida! WOOOWOOO!

HUMBLE Silly.

PIEL Hey, gotta show props to home at a place like this. I feel just like a rapper at the Grammies.

HUMBLE Just don’t start thanking god if you win something.

PIEL :( I’m not even nominated tonight.

HUMBLE What a shame.

PIEL You should talk, you’re nominated for like a billion tonight.

HUMBLE I know. Heehee. :smile:

PIEL Well here’s one category you’re NOT nominated in, the “Voice of Reason” award. I have no idea what that even means but whatever, it’s not our award to collect. The nominees for it are:

Dindi

Hector

Suedehead

surannee

svperstar

PIEL A great group of guys and gals methinks.

HUMBLE Right they are. Hard to pick a winner here, but the choice for the MadonnaNation voters is....

Hector!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

HECTOR Wow, another one? :shock: This is totally unexpected. I guess I just want to say the same thing that I did before: thanks for thinking highly enough of me to believe I deserve this honor, and once again I’m glad this community is the place I set up residence. It’s definitely my favorite Madonna home. :).

:clap:

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The next award is a favorite of many a former dotmusic alumni: the BEST ALIAS

Here to present this prestigious award are two more of our treasured posters (and, not coincidentally, a couple of big Alias fans themselves) -- Dindi and Hafo! :clap: :clap:

DINDI Hmmm, is our beloved admin trying to SAY something by having both of us present this award? :sneaky:

HAFO :americanlife: One has to wonder.

DINDI Either way, I think a good majority of us can safely say that this is the most CONTROVERSIAL award of the night.

HAFO Yes, and that more or less has to do with the fact that aliases have created a major divide here on MadonnaNation. You either love them or hate them. So for some, this award will either be the most pointless part of the evening, or the most revered.

DINDI And having said that, the lucky contestants are:

Captain OBVIOUS

Caresse Henry

Dramatic Violin

Eve Harrington

Joan Gustaffson

Mermaid Vagina

Nelson Muntz

Tony Ciccone

HAFO A bunch of those are awesome.

DINDI Only one of them can be the winner though. And that winner is…

:shock:

Dramatic Violin!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER Ladies and gents, the Dramatic Violin could not be with us tonight, he is currently on tour attending a few pity parties. We at MadonnaNation accept this award on his behalf and look forward to his return really soon.

:clap:

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And now we move into the second part of our telecast, the part where all the claws start coming out. :wow: First up is the MOST LIKELY TO BE BANNED award.

And here, for the very first time together on stage (and in restraints), two former members of the MadonnaNation community who were exiled early on by the administrator -- Commotion and MADMADMAD!! :clap: :clap:

v

COMMOTION bark bark bark, barky bark BARK bark. Bark bark?

MADMADMAD :crazy: I don’t know, can we do it later? I’ve already sat on my father’s cock today. :crazy:

COMMOTION bark bark bark bark svperstar bark bark bark republican. :evil: bark bark bark MenopauseNation.

MADMADMAD! No kidding, I can’t believe we were even allowed here. But hey, since we were – EVERYONE SLEEP WITH ME! :horny:

COMMOTION bark bark bark Banning award. Bark bark bark nominees:

DevilUKnow

FanOf

MadonnaBoy717

Mmmm

mtzlplk

MADMADMAD! Shall we see who will be joining us soon?

COMMOTION bark bark bark! :D

MADMADMAD! The winner is…

FanOf!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

FANOF FANTASTIC, what an honor! :wow: This especially means something coming from a bunch of sad drama queens like the riff-raff at MadonnaNation. To be in the same company of people like Commotion would be so awesome should it ever come to that point (which I suspect is likely), so do what you shall. Oh yeah, and Madonna’s vocals at Koko were STILL horrible you ass-kissers! :rolleyes: Thanks again.

:clap:

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Now it is time to present honors for the MOST OPINIONATED award.

Here to present the award is someone who considers himself rather opinionated as well – put your hands together for Topaz Scorpio! :clap: :clap:

TOPAZ Howdy folks! It’s so great to be here among friends tonight. Especially great also is the chance to pass off this awesome award to someone who deserves it. Being opinionated might be looked on as a negative trait, but I don’t know why. Just because your passionate about your feelings about something doesn’t mean this should be a detracting character factor. Besides, it’s more fun to get into conversations with people who are like this. The five people nominated in this category tonight are fine examples of that. And here they are:

HolidayGuy

johnnox

MadonnaBoy717

Riverwide

VANITY_BONET

TOPAZ Those are some excellent selections there. Unfortunately only one of them can walk away with the trophy. And the trophy tonight goes to…

Riverwide!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER Riverwide cannot be with us tonight, but our satellite hookup in London has tracked him down at the local McDonalds, where he responded to his win:

RIVERWIDE Well well well, you mean I finally won one of these things? Cheers, voters! :clap: I guess I don’t have to tell you all twice that I truly deserved this honor. My opinions may be my opinions but I take them very seriously, and I’m glad the voters saw that the majority of the time. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, it is easy for people to walk all over you – which is something I do not care to subject myself to, thanks. So thank you to the voters, and to MadonnaNation in general, for being a positive outlet for my opinionatedness. :)

:clap:

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The next award goes to the CRANKIEST POSTER

Our presenter for this award almost didn’t make the stage because he was being hounded by Barbra Walters backstage, but we thank him from taking time away from his gorgeous dates to be with us. Ladies and gents, welcome Queen Bitch! :clap: :clap:

QUEEN Thank you. I love you all. *blows kisses to adoring fans in front row* I’m so glad the ceremony is being held this year when I could actually make the effort to look my most ravishing. As you can see, my dates down in the front row certainly agree. *points to secretboy and Humble Neighborhood* :flirt:

:clap::horny::clap:

QUEEN Let’s talk seriously now – the “Crankiest” poster? How the HECK can you narrow THAT down to five nominees? MadonnaNation is without a doubt a haven for bitches, some of them entertaining as hell, others annoying as fuck. I suppose when it comes right down to it, the ones that provoke the most response are those who truly count. And with that in mind, your selection of nominations is as follows:

johnnox

MadonnaBoy717

Riverwide

Topaz Scorpio

VANITY_BONET

QUEEN EXCELLENT selections, if I do say so myself. Alas there are four weak links there, as only one can prosper. That person is…

johnnox!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

JOHNNOX :shock: Whoa, you mean I actually beat out the transformer for this thing? Wow, that IS an honor! But now I can say I have truly joined the elite on these boards, that’s for damn sure. :D Thanks to everyone who voted for me, and I would like nothing more than to piss on anyone who voted for my competitors instead. It doesn’t matter who wins, but in the end I’m not the one who lost. :lol: Cheers my dears!

:clap:

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The next award is for HORNIEST POSTER

Our presenter of this award is a very special guest tonight. Though he has not been with the community since the days of dotmusic, he still watches us closely and wishes it continued success. Ladies and gents, I am proud to introduce Mariah’s Arse! :clap: :clap: :clap:

ARSE Hello to all my former comrades, it’s nice to see you all still love the Queen so much. :rosey: And it’s also nice to see the hatred for that fat cow Mariah hasn’t dwindled since she came back with that bastardly Masculation of Mimi record. How the hell did she get it to sell that much? The trick is in renting out space in your crotch I suppose. :(

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

ARSE Now I’m guessing svperstar designated me to this spot because, well, I was horny all the time on dotmusic. :horny: There’s nothing wrong with that in my opinion, in fact I encourage it. At least it looks like a few people have taken the necessary steps to continue that tradition here. So let’s see who the five lucky fuckers are that are ready to walk away with a bareback cock in their ass--

horn

Joey

mtzlplk

qaz

thebigham

ARSE Okay, I don’t remember ALL of those guys, but a couple names are familiar… *reaches into thong, brings out awards envelope* The winner of this prestigious award is:

mtzlplk!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

MTZPLK Yay! I won something!!! :D Wait a sec, does this mean I will be number one on iTunes now? :confused: Oh wait, wrong award. Thanks for calling me the horniest poster here guys, I know I really worked for it in all those “Hot or Not” threads! :D

ARSE Oooo, am I in one of those threads?

MTZPLK No but you should be sexy! *licks lips* Wanna play with my strawberry? :horny:

ANNOUNCER Due to the graphic nature of the remainder of this scene (and because most audience members are EATING at the moment), the rest of this category presentation has been censored.

*applause*

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Next up we have the BIGGEST APOLOGIST award.

Our two presenters are such popular guys that we had to rope off the podium for fear that *certain* people in the audience *points to mtzlplk and Nicholas* would try to jump them. They need no introduction: R3V0LVT1ON and secretboy! :clap: :clap:

*men arrive on stage in tight leather jeans and no shirts*

SECRETBOY We’re hot. :lady:

R3V0LVT1ON Yes we are. :lady:

SECRETBOY Oh wait, aren’t we supposed to present an award here or something?

R3V0LVT1ON Yeah, but you go ahead, I’m fending off the crowd. Oh look, they’re throwing condoms at us!

SECRETBOY Scary shit! Okay okay, we’re here to present the Apologist award, which I guess translates to “Biggest Madonna Ass-Kisser.” And your two hundred nominees are:

HolidayGuy

jamesshot

Jayardee

MadonnaBoy717

Mr_boogiewoogie

R3V0LVT1ON *hands secretboy a bone of meat* Here, you use this to fend off the parasites while I make this announcement. The winner of this award is:

MadonnaBoy717!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

MadonnaBoy717 You like me, you really really like me! :rosey: I’m so glad to win this award, it’s nice to know that when Madonna’s fans can turn into bitter cruel human beings, you all trust me to be right there defending her like she should be defended. A big kiss to all the voters who put me on a pedestal more than my fellow nominees, and a big hug to the MadonnaNation community in general for being so amusing. With friends like this, who NEEDS enemies? :angel:

:clap:

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We’re back ladies and gents, and now it’s time for an entirely NEW category this year: THE POSTER YOU’D MOST LIKE TO MEET

Our presenter is the totally awesome moderator of two different sections on the MadonnaNation message board – chart expert and resident beefcake HolidayGuy! :clap: :clap:

HOLIDAYGUY Hello to all the beautiful people tonight. :) This is totally awesome, being on hand to present an award to someone who rightfully deserves it. Actually this is a bit more fun than being up for one myself, which is rather scary. Last year I was up for several (and even won one), but it’s a nightmare. I can easily understand what the following nominees must be going through. The award is for “Person you’d most like to meet,” and your selections are:

Hafo

Hector

Humble Neighborhood

Suedehead

svperstar

HOLIDAGUY Well regardless of who wins this one, I suppose you essentially do meet him when he arrives on stage to accept this. :) The winner of this award is:

svperstar!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

SVPERSTAR Thanks you guys, what a total honor to be the first recipient of this! The name of the category is vague, but the very idea that those I interact with on the forum would actually want to meet me face-to-face certainly suggests something positive. Thanks to the voters, and to the community for being so awesome, especially in the recent months while we made the transfer from Invision to our own site. I love you all.

:clap:

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Our TWELFTH award of the evening is the highly-coveted BEST-LOOKING POSTER award.

Because of the nature of this award (and because most of the people we asked to present it would NOT sign a contract stating that they would NOT jump the winner should he arrive on stage looking all gorgeous), we have HolidayGuy to remain behind and present this award as well.

HOLIDAGUY So I’m the only one around here who can keep their pants on around the big lookers? :lol: Oh well, let’s not beat around the bush then. The nominees for THIS coveted aware ARE:

Bad Robot

Gus

Humble Neighborhood

Joey

R3V0LVT1ON

Secretboy

VANITY_BONET

LESBI *screams from audience* How the hell did the ugly shemale get a nod in this one? :manson:

HOLIDAGUY Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say. :) The beholder in this case is the MadonnaNation voters, and this year they have given the trophy to:

Humble Neighborhood!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

*HN tries to run to stage from audience, but a mob of horny homos start screaming frantically and tear his clothes as he struggles to get away. He arrives on stage clothed in nothing but a pair of tight white boxers. Fearing censorship and fines, svperstar orders the cameras to put black boxes over the HUMONGOUS crotch area to keep the FCC off of the forum’s back*

HUMBLE Oh, um… this really is something. :shy:*homos start screaming frantically. VANITY silences them by revealing her penis* To think I actually beat out all these major hotties for this honor. I’m awestruck, I feel like Madonna in Evita. Thank you to everyone who thinks I’m hot, it’s really rather… erm… humbling, I guess. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go put some clothes on.

*audience roars, almosts breaks out into orgy at lingering though of Humble standing on stage half-naked. HolidayGuy rushes off stage behind him with a big grin on his face*

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Our next award of the evening is for BEST PERSONALITY

At the stage right now is a fabulous twosome who have taken time out of their busy schedule from Moopy to be here tonight. Please welcome to distant vets of our family, Toyah and Sheena! :clap: :clap:

SHEENA This is oh so FABULOUS! I haven’t SEEN such a GATHERING since dame Su Pollard was in town!

TOYAH The difference being that Su was a LEGIT celebrity, not a CHEAP imitation like some of these OTHER buffoons.

SHEENA TROO. This ain’t no A-list AFFAIR or anything but it SHALL do. We are PLEASE to present the award this evening for the Best Personality, which the people backstage tell us was the most COMPETITIVE award of the WHOLE line-up

TOYAH Hard to believe, so many Madge fans with personalities! :toyah: The nominees ARE:

Dindi

Dr Lecter

Hafo

Hector

Jimmy Mack

Riverwide

surannee

TOYAH It bloody figures that most of those blokes originate from OUR old stomping grounds!

SHEENA The award goes to:

Dr Lecter!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

TOYAH And it FIGURES the award would go to someone from MOOPY! :D

DR LECTER A double winner tonight! How ADEQUATE and NONCHALANT! This one I appreciate more than the last award because it means you value me for more than just my ability to make a complete ass of myself around here. If the personality shines then my work is done. I have won you over! Thanks.

:clap:

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Continuing with the trend of new categories, we now move onto MOST MYSTERIOUS POSTER

The two presenters now heading towards the stage are hardly mysterious themselves, but we love ‘em anyway. Say hello everybody to LAR2 and mr_boogiewoogie! :clap: :clap:

LAR2 It’s amazing I was even allowed to this thing considering how many times I’ve been axed from it.[/color]

MR_BOOGIEWOOGIE Maybe that’s just the community’s way of saying they forgive me

LAR2 That or they want to use me and abuse me like the typical American yanks they are

MR_BOOGIEWOOGIE :lmao:

LAR2 Jesus fucking Christ, who the hell paired me up with THIS spastic? :manson: Let’s get this over with. The nominees for the Most “Mysterious” Poster award (whatever the fuck THAT means) are:

Dindi

Queen Bitch

SuGaR BuLLeT

Surannee

VANITY_BONET

MR_BOOGIEWOOGIE Good luck to everyone nomimated. The envelope please…. Your winner IS:

Dindi!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

DINDI :shock: I can safely say that this was TOTALLY unexpected. Queen Bitch, I thought you had this thing! Please don’t beat me up!

*Queen Bitch is too distracted by Humble Neighborhood’s tan torso to even notice he lost*

DINDI Thank you guys for giving me this award, it means I’ve managed to elude you all enough to still be considered interesting. That’s all I’m going to say. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go celebrate. Privately. :lady:

:clap:

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The next award is for the MOST OPTIMISTIC POSTER

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the podium a true legend in the MadonnaNation community -- Suedehead! :clap: :clap: :clap:

SUEDEHEAD Salutations! Thanks for the warm welcome, and thanks to svperstar for holding these damn things on a day where I could show up and present. He’s given me the honors no less of presenting what I consider to be a VERY gratifying award. It’s not as if you need a reason to understand, either – I mean hell, who DOESN’T want to be the most optimistic poster on here? The nominees are:

Dr Lecter

gordu

Hafo

Humble Neighborhood

surannee

SUEDEHEAD Jesus, all those guys are awesome. How can you even choose? :bruise: There are no losers here, just people without trophies. The one who DOES get it, though, is:

Hafo!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER Hafo had to leave the ceremony early, but our camera crew followed him on the road to get his reaction to this win.

HAFO Thanks a lot guys, it means much to know that you think of me this way after all this time. I don’t intentionally try to be optimistic but I believe more positive things come out of avoiding the negative, hence why I’m this way. Props to the Forum Gods for being totally rocking, and to the smaller posters who have gone out of their way to stay away from the incessant drama!

*applause*

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The awards are now ready to proceed yet again. Now, the award for: MOST OBSCURE POSTER

Now welcome two blokes who REALLY know how to keep us all entertained – the talented and thankfully NON-obscure Jimmy Mack and Pera! :clap: :clap:

JIMMY Have you ever wondered how svperstar designates all of us to present these specific awards?

PERA I think he picks randomly. He has to. How would he pair US up of all people otherwise? :lol:

JIMMY Good point. Plus I think the only reason he wanted to see my on stage is because he’s into tall guys.

PERA Kind of like some of us are into obscure ones, eh?

JIMMY Ah yes, those “obscure” ones are neato, aren’t they? It’s a perfect category to have at this ceremony, it’s the place where we can put people that have not gone out of their way to do anything noteworthy enough to get nominations anywhere else, really. And of course, the five usual suspects are:

acko

dubstar

Je5u5

Kim

SuGaR BuLLeT

PERA They aren’t TOO obscure. Even I know them. So I guess that means I can shake the hand of the winner and at least know who the hell he is. And that winner is:

Kim!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER This is Kim’s SECOND straight win in this category. He won it last year when it was referred to as the “Best Missing Poster” award.

KIM *via satellite* Hello all, as you can see I couldn’t make it away from my busy life to do this in person. I guess that means I really do live up to my status as the best obscure poster then. Anyways, I want to thank my friends and family for taking me away from MadonnaNation so much that I could actually qualify for this honor, and thanks to all the fuckheads who I spout off too when I do actually take the time to post. If not for the fact that I nail your assess with all sorts of witty dialogue, I might never have been considered for this honor. Thanks again! Now if you’ll excuse me, you interrupted my nap.

:clap:

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The seventeenth award of the evening is the BEST CROSSOVER POSTER

Please welcome our next presenter, the oh-so-fabuloushorn! :clap: :clap:

HORN Thank you for that, guys. So was anyone else holding off a raging hard-on over there when Humble was in nothing but his boxers? Cause I know I was. :horny:

*audience gets all giddy again*

HORN This award is for “Crossover Poster,” which I guess means that it goes to someone whose home is not usually MadonnaNation, but another place like Moopy or the Chart Forum. The nominees for this category are:

BritneysBoy

cristela

dubstar

Humble Neighborhood

Robster16

Sheena

HORN I have a feeling I know who is going to win, so I won’t bother delaying it. The winner is:

…get on up here, sexy!... :horny:

Humble Neighborhood!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER Due to the fact that Humble’s second wardrobe has not yet arrived, we are sending him onstage with Elton John to curb all the probable erections.

HUMBLE Thanks svper, it’s appreciated. :) I’ll keep this kinda brief because I’m really cold right now (and plus I think Elton is trying to feel up my ass :scared: ). Thanks to everyone who voted for me, and believe me I am very much happy that I found this place just when MadonnaMad was starting to get on my nerves. Big thanks to Hector for steering me in this direction, and thanks to everyone else for making the place so awesome. :thumbsup:

:clap:

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The next award is for BEST NEW POSTER

And here to present that honor is last year’s recipient, the talented and utterly LOVELY surannee! :clap: :clap:

SURANEE Salutations, fellow MadonnaNationers. I for one am jazzed that I could be here to present this particular award, specifically because I know what each and every one of the nominees is going through. Your stomachs are in knots, your nails are bitten. It’s nerve-racking, that’s for sure. But just remember, there’s no losers here tonight. The fact that you made it this far means you’re important enough to go down in forum history. And look at it this way: some of the most famous people in the world never win awards anyway. So without further ado, the nominees for Best New Poster:

Deacon

goldtooth

gordu

Humble Neighborhood

Hyperballad_brad

SURANEE Five forum newbies, five lovely additions to the family. The trophy in this instance, however, goes to:

Humble Neighborhood!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

ANNOUNCER This is Miguel’s third award of the evening, making him now the all-time record holder for most wins received in a single evening at the MadonnaNation awards.

*thunderous applause, whistling*

HUMBLE Guys, I am totally friggin astounded by this. There are so many talented people here tonight and yet you choose me? :shy: Wow. Just wow. I’ll just say thank you once more. This place makes me feel so loved and I appreciate it greatly.

:clap:

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Moving on, yet another big award of the evening: the BEST ALUMNI POSTER

Our two presenters are loomer and Joey.

LOOMER So I guess us presenting this thing means that neither of us are nominated?

JOEY It would appear so. :square:

LOOMERS Why not? We’re alumni!

JOEY Not the kind that kisses butt though. I’m not here because I defend Mariah and you aren’t there because you went ape shit on HolidayGuy.

LOOMER Oh so THAT’s it! Fabulous, I love it when people hold grudges.

JOEY Well let’s take a look at the people who the voters DO favor:

Hafo

Hector

Jimmy Mack

Queen Bitch

svperstar

LOOMER And the winner for biggest scrotum-licker goes to:

Queen Bitch!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

QUEEN Thank you my dears, I was almost beginning to wonder whether I’d have an opportunity to even show off my FABULOUS new attire on stage! :queenbitch: This award means a lot, especially considering that I wasn’t even that ACTIVE on dotmusic, really. Tell you all what – whoever wins the Vanguard award, I’ll just trade him that one for this one and we’ll call it even. :) Thanks again darlings!

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The evening is coming to a close, but not before we get to the last two awards. First up is the MOST MISSED POSTER

Please welcome our presenters to the podium: hyperballad_brad and mrlover! :clap: :clap:

MRLOVER An outspoken, a recently departed, an off-the-radar bear, a young cutie and a long-lost bitch. What do they all have in common?

HYPERBALLAD_BRAD They’re former Spice Girls? :confused:

MRLOVER No, they’re all nominated tonight in this category, the “Most Missed Poster.”

HYPERBALLAD_BRAD Being missed is quite an interesting emotion. I would imagine only a select few people leave behind the kind of impression that makes them go down in history like that. The nominees are:

!!!

Jaro

Jim Lotion

Topman

True Hectic

MRLOVER And the winner is…

Jaro!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

*STANDING OVATION ALERT*, image flashes across the screen of Jaro.

Juho10_small.jpg

ANNOUNCER Here to accept the award on behalf of Jaro is his partner, JakkeX!

JAKKEX Thank you, thank you. This is such an honor on so many levels, I can’t tell you how glad I am to be here to accept this award in memory of Jaro. As most of you know he passed away a couple of months ago, but I know that he is here in spirit with us tonight, grinning from ear to ear over the fact that he managed to leave behind such an amazing legacy. And how appropriate that he wins the award for someone who is “missed.” He is very missed, by all of you I’m sure, and especially myself. So again, thank you all for voting for him. I will never forget this honor.

:clap:

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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome svperstar to the stage! :clap: :clap:

SVPERSTAR Hello again, guys. I don’t usually like to stand on a soapbox or anything, but since I’ve run out of people to stand up here and present awards, I’m kinda stuck. :lol: Nah, really, I’m up here because it is only fair. You see, now we come to the most important part of the evening, which is passing the baton to the next recipient of the MadonnaNation Vanguard Award (and I being the first winner means I’m the one who has to pass it, right?). Having this award has been fun, but the real award is being able to keep this community together for you all. It’s become such an ambitious project, going from a free message board to a full-fledged web site in the span of a year. So many of you have helped, others have donated money. My point is that you all doing what you can to help us stay afloat is a lot more gratifying than being voted upon as the top poster of this place. I will always remember that as long as this forums stays alive.

*big applause*

SVPERSTAR Well now onto the big one. Ten posters, ten titans of the Nation. Only one of them will prevail. Who? Here are the finalists:

benspin

Dindi

Dr Lecter

Hector

Jimmy Mack

Joey

Queen Bitch

Suedehead

surannee

SVPERSTAR Ten amazing guys. I wish you all good luck. And the award goes to:

*drum roll*

Hector!

:clap: :clap: :clap:

HECTOR This is so amazing guys! :inlove: I really am at a loss for words. Rather than stand here and talk for an hour about how much I love being here again, I just want to say a simple THANK YOU to everyone who voted for me. I send you all good vibes! See you around on the board!

:clap:

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Very good.

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