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Pitchfork (s)hit-job review


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What a fucking joke.  One of the worst articles I have ever read. Pitchfork should be ashamed and that guy should stick to what he knows.  Music isn’t one of them. 

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2 minutes ago, MrK1ngB33 said:

What a fucking joke.  One of the worst articles I have ever read. Pitchfork should be ashamed and that guy should stick to what he knows.  Music isn’t one of them. 

Well it is what it is... a lamb with a loose hole.

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well, this is the problem with a lot of media in general these days... the know-it-all hardcore fans/haters on social media who wanna lecture other people how we should feel about another artist.. shoving down their opinion down our throats and even getting paid for it. maybe a M fan should intern at that place. seems easy to get a job there. just pretend to hate a certain demographic of artists or music styles and you're in!

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1 minute ago, santiago said:

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wait, I recognise this person. Being serious now. He's an obnoxious full time madonna hater. like, obsessive hater. He's been banned at countless forums for his harassment toward other artists' fans he doesn't like. WTF

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1 hour ago, Bitch I'm Christian said:

I used to care what critics thought, but at the end of the day... not everyone is coming to the future. 

Exactly. I can explain things rather simply: this reviewer sucks and Madonna rules. 

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1 minute ago, Nikki said:

wait, I recognise this person. Being serious now. He's an obnoxious full time madonna hater. like, obsessive hater. He's been banned at countless forums for his harassment toward other artists' fans he doesn't like. WTF

YES! People who know him have mentioned that he used to be a hater here and in another M forum. 

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2 minutes ago, Nikki said:

wait, I recognise this person. Being serious now. He's an obnoxious full time madonna hater. like, obsessive hater. He's been banned at countless forums for his harassment toward other artists' fans he doesn't like. WTF

So you putt a hard Mariah fan to reviw a Madonna album? Lolz!

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Be sure that when you email pitchfork, you include screenshots and proof that hes  nothing but a petty stan!!! Make sure the sexist troll is NEVER hired again. 

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This is his Confessions review:

https://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2005/11/the_queen_is_hy.html

 

I like dick, but I don't like Madonna and that makes me feel sovery very very very very very very very alone.

FOD might as well be changed to FOM for all the gay love Madonna receives for just showing up (which is all she does on the beyond-dull Confessions on a Dance Floor, a record so wooden it might as well contain the confessions of a dance floor, but more on that in a sec). What bothers me is not the acceptance, but the seeming blindness of many of the above-linked reviews and reports that comes with the acceptance: they lavish praise without bothering to explain why (the worst culprit is the yeah-yeah-yeah-whatever-of-course-of-course 'tude of the Queerty link -- so much for "useful information" and not feeding into stereotypes). To a large chunk of mostly white, mostly well-off, mostly youngish, mostly tech-savvy gay men, Madonna is great, duh, except for when she's absolutely unbearable (and many a homo still will defend American Life, a record so confused and ultimately stupid that it couldn't even manage to be lucidly hypocritical). The gay default musical taste is Madonna. She is the fail-safe choice, the aural equivalent of shopping at the Gap.

While there, keep in mind that on Wednesdays, we wear pink.

As someone who loves pop music, I can't exclude myself from those who have appreciated Madonna's output. Before 1996's Evita, in fact, I was a huge fan, but then, I was also a teenager. What eventually repelled me was her noxious mixture of triteness and arrogance, two things I wasn't equipped to take issue with or even be aware of at such a young age. When both came to a point most clearly ("I wanted to put a face on it," she said of Ray of Light's take on electronic music, as though people like Donna Summer, Bernard Sumner and Björk never existed or made videos or were somewhat iconic themselves), I'd had enough. What was liking her worth, anyway? She can't really sing (though it's reasonable that you could like her voice the way you like your culinarily untrained mother's cooking). She can't write. She's savvy and sometimes quick-witted, but rarely does she exhibit the kind of intellect she'd love for us to believe that she possesses. I don't care about dancing or mysticism or flashes of contrived modesty. Yes, she supports the gay community, and has forever, but must that come with the cost of punishment through having to endure babble? Despite her practical reservation on at least one rung of the gay gene's helix, Madonna has very little to offer me (in fact, her music that I still enjoy -- mostly that of her debut album, before she created her know-it-all/know-nothing persona -- I enjoy despiteher).

The feminist in me applauds Madonna and recognizes her boldness as a pioneer in the mainstream discourse of women's sexuality; the fag in me turns up my nose at the bait she's dangling in front of me (oooh, dance music!). Not that the package is so attractive, anyway -- Confessions on a Dance Floor thumps and thumps but fails to blow the roof off this sucker with its maudlin, clanking and mushy production and default mode of tunelessness (Stuart Price, whose participation had me interested in this album in the first place, bows under the weight of Madonna's whip, no doubt). The notion that Madonna should do anything but turn out mindless dance music is absurd -- I mean, really, these are her confessions? In her lyrics, my friend Sal Cinquemani hears "cliches [turned] into pop slogans," but what I hear is someone who has virtually nothing to say, whose dry, somnambulist delivery (once the charisma-filled redemption to her technical shortcomings) bespeaks motions that are just being gone through because it's been two and a half years and it's time to make a new record. I hear a supposedly intelligent woman who, without a trace of irony, will pepper her lyrics with: "Love at first sight"; "You're not half the man you think you are"; "Save you words because you've gone too far"; "At the point of no return"; "Hearts that intertwine"; "I'm going down my own road"; "The only thing you can depend on is your family." I hear someone butchering the English language just so we can hear her voice.

That isn't generosity, you know.

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Would one of our more attractive members mind finding him on grindr (we all know that loose bottom uses it) invite him somewhere and stand him up??? Plz and thank ya!

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2 minutes ago, side_streets said:

This is his Confessions review:

 

I like dick, but I don't like Madonna and that makes me feel sovery very very very very very very very alone.

FOD might as well be changed to FOM for all the gay love Madonna receives for just showing up (which is all she does on the beyond-dull Confessions on a Dance Floor, a record so wooden it might as well contain the confessions of a dance floor, but more on that in a sec). What bothers me is not the acceptance, but the seeming blindness of many of the above-linked reviews and reports that comes with the acceptance: they lavish praise without bothering to explain why (the worst culprit is the yeah-yeah-yeah-whatever-of-course-of-course 'tude of the Queerty link -- so much for "useful information" and not feeding into stereotypes). To a large chunk of mostly white, mostly well-off, mostly youngish, mostly tech-savvy gay men, Madonna is great, duh, except for when she's absolutely unbearable (and many a homo still will defend American Life, a record so confused and ultimately stupid that it couldn't even manage to be lucidly hypocritical). The gay default musical taste is Madonna. She is the fail-safe choice, the aural equivalent of shopping at the Gap.

While there, keep in mind that on Wednesdays, we wear pink.

As someone who loves pop music, I can't exclude myself from those who have appreciated Madonna's output. Before 1996's Evita, in fact, I was a huge fan, but then, I was also a teenager. What eventually repelled me was her noxious mixture of triteness and arrogance, two things I wasn't equipped to take issue with or even be aware of at such a young age. When both came to a point most clearly ("I wanted to put a face on it," she said of Ray of Light's take on electronic music, as though people like Donna Summer, Bernard Sumner and Björk never existed or made videos or were somewhat iconic themselves), I'd had enough. What was liking her worth, anyway? She can't really sing (though it's reasonable that you could like her voice the way you like your culinarily untrained mother's cooking). She can't write. She's savvy and sometimes quick-witted, but rarely does she exhibit the kind of intellect she'd love for us to believe that she possesses. I don't care about dancing or mysticism or flashes of contrived modesty. Yes, she supports the gay community, and has forever, but must that come with the cost of punishment through having to endure babble? Despite her practical reservation on at least one rung of the gay gene's helix, Madonna has very little to offer me (in fact, her music that I still enjoy -- mostly that of her debut album, before she created her know-it-all/know-nothing persona -- I enjoy despiteher).

The feminist in me applauds Madonna and recognizes her boldness as a pioneer in the mainstream discourse of women's sexuality; the fag in me turns up my nose at the bait she's dangling in front of me (oooh, dance music!). Not that the package is so attractive, anyway -- Confessions on a Dance Floor thumps and thumps but fails to blow the roof off this sucker with its maudlin, clanking and mushy production and default mode of tunelessness (Stuart Price, whose participation had me interested in this album in the first place, bows under the weight of Madonna's whip, no doubt). The notion that Madonna should do anything but turn out mindless dance music is absurd -- I mean, really, these are her confessions? In her lyrics, my friend Sal Cinquemani hears "cliches [turned] into pop slogans," but what I hear is someone who has virtually nothing to say, whose dry, somnambulist delivery (once the charisma-filled redemption to her technical shortcomings) bespeaks motions that are just being gone through because it's been two and a half years and it's time to make a new record. I hear a supposedly intelligent woman who, without a trace of irony, will pepper her lyrics with: "Love at first sight"; "You're not half the man you think you are"; "Save you words because you've gone too far"; "At the point of no return"; "Hearts that intertwine"; "I'm going down my own road"; "The only thing you can depend on is your family." I hear someone butchering the English language just so we can hear her voice.

That isn't generosity, you know.

SEND THIS TO PITCHFORK!!! SEND THIS TO HIS EDITOR AND ASK THEM WHY THEY WOULD HIRE SOMEONE BIASED TO REVIEW MADONNA!!!!!! SEND THIS LINK! SEND SCREENSHOTS! WE HAVE PROOF HES BIASED NOW!

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Just now, Dindi said:

If pitchfork just wants web traffic, wouldn’t bombarding them with complaints and emails actually backfire and encourage them to post more crap like this?

yep, that's what I said as well. Wouldn't it be better to just inform Metacritic? (though I don't know if this ever worked.. and gaga fans didn't even get that tiny mixtapes review of btw of 0 rating removed)

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