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"Rebel Heart" Reviews [continued] - thread 2


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And the worst is that that NME review counts for metacritic as far as I know.... Oh well, let's hope there will be more good reviews too! RH truly deserves them :)

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That nme review is so wrong and disgusting piece of shit. What the hell devil pray has anything do do with lady gaga's music. If Rebel Heart was made by young pop star like katy perry or rihanna everybody would be praising it as album of decade. I hate so much of these so called reviews which only focus on her age. :angry:

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NME normally give her good reviews. Not sure what's happened here.

:confused:

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I didn't realise NME had such poorly informed writers. Really astounded.Does he know that M practically invented this sub genre of folk-tronica back in the year 2000? He throws bile at her just for collaborating with a lot of different producers when he should be impressed at how she's fused it all together. Just lazy, tabloid journalism completely wrong for a self-styled serious music rag.

It's fair enough if he feels some of the youth-orientated tracks are not honest enough (personally I disagree on that) but then when she does a 'grown up' track like Devil Pray he dismisses it and calls it GaGa like. What? How ? Sack this piece of shit.

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I didn't realise NME had such poorly informed writers. Really astounded.Does he know that M practically invented this sub genre of folk-tronica back in the year 2000? He throws bile at her just for collaborating with a lot of different producers when he should be impressed at how she's fused it all together. Just lazy, tabloid journalism completely wrong for a self-styled serious music rag.

It's fair enough if he feels some of the youth-orientated tracks are not honest enough (personally I disagree on that) but then when she does a 'grown up' track like Devil Pray he dismisses it and calls it GaGa like. What? How ? Sack this piece of shit.

yea comparing it to Gagas oh so authentic track about... Wearing a burqa
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thats what i mean with those ignorant new teens rewriting history. it scares me as fuck. in a few years all the professional writers who know M of the 80s and do their research are gonna stop writing reviews & articles and we have to relay on those incompetent pretentious 20-something who get their info from other uninformed twinks like tyler oakley & social media

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I don't want to read it but can you check if it's in the official NME review part or if this is a contributor's blog ?

In my heart in know she made a good album so the reviews don't hurt me at all, it's not like the MDNA reviews i had to agree with without wanting to admit it.

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I don't want to read it but can you check if it's in the official NME review part or if this is a contributor's blog ?

In my heart in know she made a good album so the reviews don't hurt me at all, it's not like the MDNA reviews i had to agree with without wanting to admit it.

Yeah, I have a lot of confidence in the quality of Rebel Heart. Erotica and Bedtime Stories both got some poor reviews when they were released, and now everyone pretends they've always loved them. I think Rebel Heart will be looked back on as a highlight; I just wish people could realize what they have when they have it but such is life.

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thats what i mean with those ignorant new teens rewriting history. it scares me as fuck. in a few years all the professional writers who know M of the 80s and do their research are gonna stop writing reviews & articles and we have to relay on those incompetent pretentious 20-something who get their info from other uninformed twinks like tyler oakley & social media

I know, it's awful, isn't it?

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After reading all your griping about this NME review, I wanted to say you guys need to get over it, stop attacking writers for not liking everything Madonna does, etc. etc. But after actually reading the review, I was like WTF? How did this get published? It's like a bad blog by a teenager. I have ZERO problem with the substantive issues the writer has with the album, and I actually agree with some of it. HOWEVER, here it is, annotated by me:

Three years after 2012’s EDM-driven ‘MDNA’ album, ‘Rebel Heart’ finds 56-year-old Madonna still trying to pass herself off as a teenager. (FINE, BUT THERE ARE SO MANY MORE ELOQUENT WAYS TO EXPRESS THIS) It’s a disconnect that has become increasingly grating.

Rather than the return to ’80s underground New York promised by lead single ‘Living For Love’, her 13th album is a scattergun attempt to hit all the bases of modern pop. Instead of having one producer at the helm, as ‘MNDA’ did with William Orbit, (UH, NO. I WISH.) Madonna hired the biggest chart-humping names she could find. Avicii co-writes three tracks: ‘HeartBreakCity’, ‘Devil Pray’ – reminiscent of Lady Gaga’s crazed 2013 dance tune ‘Aura’ (HUH? I GUESS I CAN SEE HOW SOMEONE WOULD HEAR A GAGA INFLUENCE HERE BECAUSE IT'S GOT A GOTH VIBE TO IT, BUT "AURA"??) – and the ballad ‘Wash All Over Me’. Kanye produces three: the classy, (I LOVE THIS SONG, BUT CLASSY? OKAY...) ‘Vogue’-referencing ‘Illuminati’, ‘Holy Water’ and ‘Wash All Over Me’. Diplo drives four: ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’, ‘Unapologetic Bitch’, ‘Living For Love’, ‘Hold Tight’. And Drake associates Dahi and Michael ‘Blood’ Diamonds take two: ‘Devil Pray’ and ‘Body Shop’. Chance The Rapper (trendy) and Nicki Minaj (bankable) rap on ‘Iconic’ and ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ respectively.

Diplo fares best. The pulsating ‘Living For Love’ is exactly what this record should have been top-to-tail, and the digi-reggae of ‘Unapologetic Bitch’ could’ve fallen off the back of a Major Lazer album. Diplo makes Madge sound fun, but as the candy-bass ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ – on which she sings “We’re jumping in the pool and swimming with our clothes on / I poured beer in my shoe and got my freak on” – shows, the gulf between her life and her music is now impossible to ignore.

The punchy ‘HeartBreakCity’ – a song Lorde would dismiss as too juvenile an interpretation of a break-up (SERIOUSLY?) – illustrates that however on-point her musical instincts, this persona just isn’t believable any more. (WHAT ISN'T BELIEVABLE ABOUT THIS? IT'S ONE OF THE MOST HONEST SONGS ON THE ALBUM) ‘Holy Water’ implores, “Kiss it better, kiss it better / Make it better, make it wetter / Don’t it taste like holy water”. Coitus in mid-life can of course still be a richly rewarding experience, (HOW WOULD THIS GUY KNOW? HE LOOKS ABOUT 15.) but must we hear quite so many details? (GROSS! OLD PEOPLE HAVING SEX! WAY TO EXEMPLIFY AGEISM BY THE LETTER, JACKASS) Twee ballad ‘Body Shop’ hinges on a similarly tortuous lyrical conceit (“My transmission’s blown… You can keep it in overnight / You can do whatever you like”).

Ultimately, ‘Rebel Heart’ feels like a wasted opportunity. Trite self-empowerment anthem ‘Iconic’ informs us that there’s only two letters difference between Icon and I Can’t. Sadly, there are also two letters between class and ass.

This is the writer of the NME review https://twitter.com/gavhaynes . No surprise that he writes for the sexist rag that is Vice.

Also racist, or at least diversity-challenged.

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LOL what happened to once respectable publications?

That could have been written by teenager

I can't even

They're all just bitter at Madonna's 32 years residence at the very top

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After reading all your griping about this NME review, I wanted to say you guys need to get over it, stop attacking writers for not liking everything Madonna does, etc. etc. But after actually reading the review, I was like WTF? How did this get published? It's like a bad blog by a teenager. I have ZERO problem with the substantive issues the writer has with the album, and I actually agree with some of it. HOWEVER, here it is, annotated by me:

Well... have you seen his Twitter pic? The guy is a teenager, indeed.

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thats what i said about him and also the one from PMA. they're both very young and little monsters (actually the PMA one says shit like "gay for gaga" on his twitter all the time while shading madonna for the brits.) - so.. how could they allow this? certainly NME must see the complaints and read it as well and realise it's indeed a very inaccurate written "review".

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thats what i said about him and also the one from PMA. they're both very young and little monsters (actually the PMA one says shit like "gay for gaga" on his twitter all the time while shading madonna for the brits.) - so.. how could they allow this? certainly NME must see the complaints and read it as well and realise it's indeed a very inaccurate written "review".

"Gays for Gaga"... Seriously? :dead:

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This piece of shit is not professional. And i don't say this just because he rated badly Rebel Heart. His ''review'' is not about Rebel Heart but more about Madonna and his irrelevant opinion.

Americans must be brainwashed if they read these shit. :newspaper:

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This piece of shit is not professional. And i don't say this just because he rated badly Rebel Heart. His ''review'' is not about Rebel Heart but more about Madonna and his irrelevant opinion.

Americans must be brainwashed if they read these shit. :newspaper:

NME is a UK publication...

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Guest Pud Whacker

Critics are purposely misunderstanding this record, that's what gets to me. It's really like American Life all over again...

tumblr_mg6tokaZRI1rt0dwso1_500.gif

Please explain to us what you believe they are misunderstanding?
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It's a review full of low blows, but poorly written and blatant in its sexism.

I only agree that Madonna needs to stop making stupid songs like BIM which yes, sound hugely disconnected from her life and are extremely infantile. She's entitled to express herself however she wants, but if you ask my opinion there it is. Since when does Madonna party like Ke$ha? It's just not convincing.

Anyway. The review sounds like it was written in 2 minutes by a 19 year old. Who briefly glanced at a Wikipedia page on RH. Hire a new staff, NME.

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About the NME check if this is not from their blogs section and if this is a contributor and not a professional reviewer. I don't want to give it a hit by checking myself. Is it staff or contributors, is it in the review section or blogs ?

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Guest Pud Whacker

I'm finding it more difficult to read the fans reactions to the critics more than the criticisms themselves.

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