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'When Madonna Met Rosie' - The Face Magazine November 1993


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I was sorting out my bookshelves out yesterday and I came across this

Thought I'd type it up for you guys, enjoy!! :smile:

When Madonna Met Rosie

On her first assignment as a journalist, Madonna interviews her friends actress Rosie O'Donnell.

Stand by for some serious girlie talk...

Rosie O'Donnell is an actress who is by now well used to sharing the limelight. In last year's A League Of Their Own, there she was on the baseball field slugging it out and trading wisecracks with a whole gang of other girls - Geena Davis, Lori Petty and Madonna among them. In the new release Sleepless In Seattle, she gets some of the film's best lines but still has to content herself with the classic second-fiddle role of the heroine's (less attractive) best friend. (Typical Dialogue - Meg Ryan to Rosie: "You know that dream where you're naked and everyone is looking at you?" Rosie to Meg: "I love that dream.")

And even when she gets her chance to stand under the spotlight alone - the movie star interview - who shows up with the tape recorder? Her old friend Madonna. Life can be tough sometimes.

So, we can save the upcoming star's analysis of her acting method and career aspirations for another time - here is a take-no-prisoners gabfest covering ideal mating partners, co-star crushes, pimple-covering strategies and how to avoid paying for dinner.

M: OK, Ro, now look - this is the first time I've ever interviewed anyone so...

R: I'm not expecting anything.

M: Good, 'cause I didn't have time to prepare anything. So let's be spontaneous and I'll just ask you whatever comes up.

R: Uh-oh.

M: What is the last word you looked up in the dictionary?

R: I don't even know. It probably was something to do with computers because I just got that computer that I'm addicted to and I think it was like "downloading"

M: Downloading? That sounds sexual.

R: Well, I hate to disappoint you. It's computer lingo; to download your computer is to take files from other people.

M: Well, I was hoping you'd give me a juicy word or something.

R: What's the last word you looked up?

M: "Awkward". Every time I'm writing a letter and I want to use the word "awkward", I forget how to spell it and I have to look it up. So I was hoping that you could... I mean, I just want you to realise you have revealed nothing of yourself.

R: All right, let me reveal something about myself. The last word I looked up was "Metropolis"

M: Thank You. That was very insightful. If you were going out on a date with someone for the first time, would you rather have bad breath or a pimple of your nose?

R: I'd say bad breath, because I could cover it up with Bianca [breath freshener] or try to speak into a napkin. But a pimple on your nose, you're pretty much stuck the whole night unless you're going to wear a Band-Aid.

M: Who's going to want to kiss you if you have bad breath? Because even if you use Bianca, you can't disguise the smell. But a pimple on your nose, you can cover it up with a black pencil and call it a beauty mark.

R: It's it huge, tomoresque, oozing pimple, you need to put a huge gauze pad and some adhesive tape on and look as if you just had plastic sugery.

M: What's your preferred method of breaking up with someone: in person, on the phone, express mail or by fax?

R: Definitely fax.

M: Isn't that the best? The way to start a relationship and the best way to end it!

R: But, as you know, sweetheart, I'm not very good at breaking up. My relationships tend to linger on in never-ending sagas.

M: That's why we get along so well.

R: Yes.

M: What do you find more annoying: getting your period every month or watching Sally Jessy Raphael?

R: My period. I actually enjoy Sally Jessy.

M: You do?

R: Yeah - I like all the talk shows, as you know. I start early in the morning. Sally Jessy Raphael is at ten, then Jerry Springer is on at 11, and then we get Jane Whitney, which your brother was on...

M: Don't remind me. I think my brother was probably on all of them.

R: And then there's Oprah and Donahue.

M: He was on them.

R: Geraldo.

M: He was on that.

R: Geraldo probably annoys me more than all of them put together, but Sally Jessy I don't mind her at all. You know she has had a lot of tragedy lately. I feel kind of sorry for her.

M: Haven't we all?

R: Yes, but Sally Jessy - the blonde hair, the red glasses - you gotta love her.

M: All right I don't know if I agree with you, but it is your interview. OK, here's a good one: if you could have your choice, who would you pick to father your child: Denzil Washington, Damon Wayans or [basketball player] Charles Barkley?

R: Hmmmmmm... I'd say Damon - he's the funniest and the cutest I think.

M: You think he's the cutest?

R: Yes, I definitely do. You think Charles Barkley is cuter?

M: Charles Barkley is God.

R: But cuter than Damon?

M: It is your interview. But you know what? Damon is married, isn't he?

R: He has five kids and he's happily married, but this is all a fantasy.

M: Denzel Washington is married, and you know what? I think Charles is probably married.

See all the good ones are taken... but that doesn't mean they can't father your children!

R: Or that we can't dream. We can dream

M: We can have fantasies.

R: I would choose Damon.

M: Good choice. Why do you like me better than all your other friends?

R: Your Clever wit and your kind nature.

M: Really? Not my candy?

R: You're always loaded up with diet soda and candy. What more can I ask for in a friendship?

M: That is an oxymoron

R: Don't call me a moron! Where's the dictionary?

M: It's true. Isn't it silly? We all do that. We eat candy and drink diet soda. How absurd is that?

R: It's quite absurd.

M: There is something incredibly compulsive and ignorant about those choice, but we won't get into that right now. What would you rather do: make another baseball movie with an all-female cast, or have your teeth drilled?

R: I would say make another female baseball movie, because I was hoping there would be a sequel [to A League of Their Own]... as I know you were.

M: I don't know about that. Could it be in another place though? And could we not be playing baseball?

R: If we didn't do that movie we would have never become friends.

M: Meeting you was the best thing about doing that movie. If we had to do that movie again, I wonder if there would be a way to do it where we wouldn't have to play baseball out in the sun.

R: In 160-degree heat. Well, that was the worst part.

M: What did you like best about working with me? Did I ask that question already?

R: No, you didn't. I would say my initiation into the Bodyguards of America society. Because becoming friends with you, working with you, I realise that I have a dual role in my life, I had this yearning to be a bodyguard, and finally, knowing you, I got to fulfil that dream.

M: Pugilistic dreams.

R: Pugilistic - does that mean boxer like?

M: We'll look it up later. And also I learnt to share my candy with you.

R: You did.

M: It was a breakthrough moment for me. Now you have a new movie coming out Sleepless in Seattle, I hear you're really good in it, and really funny, and everyone tells me so, eventhough I haven't seen it.

But lets find out what really counts: when was the last time you were sleepless and why? Don't censor!

R: Last night, definitely. I have mother's day trauma.

M: When we get to mother's day, there's no one to send a card to.

R: I almost forget when it is every year, and then when it comes up its out of nowhere, and two days ago I was driving, and I see all the signs... it always gets to you.

M: It chokes you up.

R: I had a sleepless night thinking about it.

M: I'll be your mother.

R: I'll be yours.

M: I pick my nose sometimes, even when people are looking!

R: You?!

M: Yeah. When I'm driving down the street, if someone is really gawking at me or staring at me, I like to pick my nose to see if they'll look away out of embarrassment.

R: You, of all people, doing something as crude as picking your nose in public - it's startling.

M: I know, if only people knew.

R: People do.

M: What's worse - being in love, or making a movie?

R: Making a movie, hands down.

M: Are you currently in love?

R: No I wish I were.

M: You're not?

R: Did you think I was? Could you mouth to me or write out on paper who you thought it was?

M: I'm drawing a blank. Are you currently making a movie?

R: Yes.

M: Are you a glutton for punishment?

R: Yes. I'm making The Flintstones. I'm Betty Rubble.

M: I was wondering how you researched the role of Betty Rubble?

R: Well, I went to the library and I looked up a lot of stuff about the Cro-Magnon ear. I did a whole thesis on dinosaurs.

M: There must be a lot of research material available.

R: Oh, yeah, a lot of Brontosaurus Rex. Having never seen The Flintstones cartoon show on TV, it was really hard for me to get into Betty. But I've assimilated it all, and really think I've captured her essence.

M: Thank you. Have you ever farted and blamed it on someone else?

R: In my entire 31 years? When I was a child I blamed it often on the dog. I had a dog named Happy.

M: I'll bet he wasn't very happy about that. I think it's easier to fart and blame it on someone else when you in an urban area.

R: Yeah. You can say, "This pollution is really getting to me," but when you're in bed with someone, what do you do then? That's embarrassing because you know that they know it's not them, and you can't blame it on anyone else - theres usually no one there. Usually.

M: Well... listen, thats when you know if you dig somebody or you love somebody, if you can fart and not be too terribly embarrassed about it.

R: Yes. If you can say, "Batten down the hatches," you put the quilt covers down and giggle about it. That's love.

M: Do you find yourself going out on more dates now that you're more famous?

R: No. You know me. I'm Hardly the dater.

M: Don't people come on to you more and approach you more?

R: Well, it's different from you.

M: But probably people approach you more now than they used to.

R: As you know, I am really sort of braindead when it comes to that.

M: When it comes to everything.

R: You're such a good friend, thank you.

M: You're welcome. Do you find yourself paying for more dinners now that you're famous?

R: Well, you know me - Miss Control Freak. I always put down the credit card, no matter when or where.

M: But doesn't it annoy you? You know I love taking people out to dinner and I'm kind of like you, wanting to be taking care of business. But doesn't it get on your nerves that people just kind of assume that because you have money you are going to pay for everything? I mean it bugs me.

R: I remember one of the first times we went out to dinner and I picked up the tab, and there was this look of shock on your face. I thought, I bet people don't do that to her often, but it's an awkward position also because most of the people I know in my life - besides you - don't necessarily have a lot of money, so I always do end up buying. I put down the credit card all the time and then I end up resenting it later. The more courageous thing to do would be to deal with it upfront.

M: I've started to get out of that habit. Whenever I go to dinner with large groups of people, I just say, "Oops! Forgot my credit card!" And then the table usually gets very quiet. It's not like I'm a money-gruber, I just want someone to take me out to dinner once in awhile. Do you think Charles Barkley pays for dinner?

R: I would think that Charles Barkley does pay for dinner, the way he can penetrate the lane and slam-dunk. He's a man quick to grab his card.

M: Hmmm. Yes... well, I think we should move on to another topic. Do you find yourself wishing you were less famous now that you are more famous?

R: I think that fame or notoriety is something that you never can be prepared for or now what it's like to have, as much as you fantasise or crave it. Until you taste it, you don't know what it's like.

And once you have it, you can't give it back - so it's a very strange thing.

M: Once you have it, it becomes its own animal. Sometimes it come when you call it, and other times it just runs out of the room.

R: That's very poetic.

M: Thanks. Listen, you just finished a movie, Stakeout II, and I would love to know if you got a crush on Emilio Estevez.

R: Yes, I did. A high crush on Emilio Estevez, and a huge crush on Richard Dreyfuss.

M: That's a lot of crush.

R: Well my crush was on Richard Dreyfuss. I had a crush on him since The Goodbye Girl, and he's so intelligent band articulate and politically correct and adorable. I met him and got to know him, but he didn't go out to dinner a lot - he would like work out during the day, and he had three kids and a life. Well, Emilio and I are the same age, and finally, after two days of awkwardness, I said, "Do you want to go out to dinner?" And then we started going out to dinner all of the time, and he is truly the nicest man. He invited me to his parent's house for Mother's Day without even saying anything. He's sensitive - very intuitive. I really care about him very much, and he and Paula [Abdul] together are the adorable, loving thing.

M: How I envy them.

R: I do, too - really it's the truth.

M: Who would win if you and Paula got into an arm-wrestling match?

R: Oh, please! It would definitely be me. Are you kidding - Paula Abdul! She's 95 pounds, she's tiny.

M: I'm tiny, and I'm strong.

R: Do you think you could beat me in an arm wrestle?

M: No, but Charles Barkley could. Let's go on to the next question. Are you having an affair with Todd Oldham? Because I noticed you are always wearing his clothes.

R: No comment.

M: Oh... just friends?

R: Mo, I like this clothes. He has a fun, happy, semi-hip, trendy, clothes that are still fun, because I'm not really a style queen, and I can't go out in Jean Paul Gaultier. JPG doesn't make size 14-16.

M: Todd seems like he has a great sense of humour, just judging by his clothes.

R: When I went to the Emmys I didn't know what to wear or what to do, and I was pretty much at a fat peak for me.

M: What is a fat peak?

R: Is that a new pimple on your face?

M: OK, Todd, I'll have an affair with you, too, if that's what it takes to wear some of your clothes.

You know, Ro, you're the only person I know in Long Island who's funny.

R: Not true - Jerry Seinfeld.

M: Well I don't think he's funny.

R: Eddie Murphy.

M: Well, he's sorta funny.

R: Umm, umm, there are tons of funny people from Long Island.

M: You haven't convinced me. What's it like?

R: Well, it's just like New Jersey - it's suburban hell. Tract row houses one after another, the exact same. Different-coloured shutters. It's the only way you tell them apart.

M: Do you ever fantasies about being back in that world? Do you ever miss it?

R: Not for a minute. I miss New York City. I miss the whole feeling of NYC, but I don't miss Long Island, nor would I ever want to raise children there.

M: Well then - what are you doing in the [san Fernando] Valley?

R: I didn't have a lot of money when I brought my house three years ago, but I'm moving.

M: You are? Where?

R: Up to the top of Mulholland, in Laurel Canyon, up on the very top. And it's just a nice house with a pool and a view of the entire valley.

M: So I won't have to drive a hundred miles to visit you?

R: You will not, and I promise not to decorate with Laura Ashley again.

M: Thank you so much. Is my brother Christopher going to help you?

R: I hope so, since when he saw my house the first time he said, "If you're going to do Laura Ashley, why don't you really do it? This is tacky trash."

M: Oh, my God. That sounds like my brother.

R: He felt the lace and said, "Ugh. Where's there Irish lace? I said, "I guess it's in the Irish lace store."

M: You are too funny, Rosie. If our country went to war - incidentally, do you know how many men are in a battalion?

R: I would guess 12. I don't know what's the fact?

M: I don't know, it's not a riddle.

R: In a battalion or platoon?

M: What's smaller?

R: I don't know the order. A platoon is a group of men with Charlie Sheen in it. A battalion is... I have no idea.

M: A group of men with George C Scott in it. I was just wondering - when those groups go into combat - they have to have a certain amount of men...

R: Well, I'm not sure.

M: OK, say for arguments sake, say that there are only six. If it was mandatory for women to serve the country and join the armed forces and we had to go into combat, which six women would you choose besides yourself to go into combat with you?

R: Queen Latifah, Sophie B Hawkins, Anjelica Huston, Steffi Graf - she has this sort of fierce, focused determination that I think would really come in handy in that sort of situation. Lina Hunt - she has overcome a lot of adversity to be where she is. How many is that? Five? I wouldn't bring you because I'd be too concerned about your well-being.

M: You wouldn't? I want to be with you!

R: I would be worried the whole time.

M: But I don't take shit from anybody!

R: I know, but I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the enemy - I'd be like, "I anybody shooting at her?" It would be too distracting.

M: Well, I'm very hurt.

R: OK, I'll bring you.

M: I was just wondering why you left out Rosie Perez.

R: Well, Rosie is kind of little. I don't know how handy she would be.

M: I'm littler than she is. Lina Hunt is littler than everyone.

R: Come on. Did you see The Year of Living Dangerously? She is pretty kick-ass in that movie. She was tough. Linda Hamilton from The Terminator - I wonder is she is still that buff? Can I trade Lina Hunt for Linda Hamilton?

M: Yeah. I just put down Linda H. That's very good, I like your choices.

R: Who would you pick?

M: Latifah sounds good. I would have picked Rosie Perez, and I think Martin Navratilova.

R: But she's not american.

M: Well, neither is Steffi Graf. What about K.D. Lang?

R: She's Canadian.

M: Oh, yeah - plus, she doesn't eat mean and things could get rough out there. What's the name of that song? "Constant Craving"?

R: Yeah.

M: You could really get a constant craving out there.

R: For a lamb chop. What if they drop the supplies and it was only steaks? K.D. would starve... I was going to say Oprah, but...

M: No way. She'd eat all the supplies.

R: Hey, now, enough with that. I've been a little weight sensitive myself; I can totally relate to Oprah. She looks really good lately have you seen her?

M: I try not to watch television.

R: Well, she looks good lately. I feel for her struggle to do that. I would pick her because she is really smart, but I don't know how she would combat physically.

M: Watch it, Ro, your nose is turning brown. Do you want to go to a party tonight?

R: Where?

M: I don't know.

R: My agent's having a party.

M: Will there be food and beverages?

R: I hear there will be a billion people there.

M: But will there be food and beverages?

R: I assume so.

M: Let's turn this thing off and really let loose...

This feature first appeared in the August issue of Mademoiselle

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R: I don't even know. It probably was something to do with computers because I just got that computer that I'm addicted to and I think it was like "downloading"


M: Downloading? That sounds sexual.


R: Well, I hate to disappoint you. It's computer lingo; to download your computer is to take files from other people.


M: Well, I was hoping you'd give me a juicy word or something.



I often think of this exchange when I hear the word "download" :lol:


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Those times when Björk was considered better for a cover than Madonna, hahahaha

What it was never meant to be a Madonna cover story

It was about Rosie and Madonna interviewing her

Madonna would appear on the,cover of The Face again for the 4th of her 5 covers the next year in 1994.

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Madonna and Rosie always seem like they are having great fun. I loved the tv interviews that Madonna did on her show as well. She was so relaxed and witty, the way she always is when she is with people she likes and is at ease with.

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Is Rosie a lesbian or bisexual? If she's a lez, didn't Madonna know? Being her good friend and all? This whole paragraph gossiping about men confused me. lol

I bet she knew, but probably Rosie wasn't ready to come out and Madonna didn't pressure her...

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Thank u!!!

Interview+USA+June+1993+Herb+Ritts+%28Pr

Madonna: Hello?

Mike Myers: Is this Madonna?

Madonna: Well, unfortunately, yes. [laughs]

Mike Myers: How’s it goin’?

Madonna: I’m O.K. I’m getting my nails done.

Mike Myers: Which nails?

Madonna: My toenails. Have you ever gotten a pedicure?

Mike Myers: Yes, I have.

Madonna: Isn’t it wonderful?

Mike Myers: It’s heavenly. Sort of takes you back to having monkeys pick out your lice. Isn’t that a charming thing to say?

Madonna: Where are you calling me from?

Mike Myers: I’m calling you from Los Angeleeze.

Madonna: Oh, you’re in the same city I’m in. Do you live here?

Mike Myers: No. Robin [Ruzan] and I have rented a little house here while we’re doing Wayne’s World 2.

Madonna: Are you nervous about getting married to Robin [this May]?

Mike Myers: We’ve been together for five years, so I’m not…

Madonna: That nervous.

Mike Myers: No.

Madonna: I think that everyone should get married at least once, so you can see what a silly, outdated institution it is. [both laugh]

Mike Myers: Well, thank you, Mrs. Sunshine!

Madonna: Now, what about her name?

Mike Myers: Her name? Robin?

Madonna: I know. Don’t you think she should change it?

Mike Myers: To "Batman"?

Madonna: No! [exasperated]

Mike Myers: Yikes!

Madonna: I’ve just always had a problem with the name Robin. Go figure. I’ll just call her Mrs. Myers.

Mike Myers: I’d be honored if you call her Mrs. Myers. Now, I’m supposed to be interviewing you.

Madonna: I know, but I just have to ask you some questions, ’cause I haven’t seen you in so long.

Mike Myers: O.K. Ask away.

Madonna: When’s your new movie coming out?

Mike Myers: August. It’s called So, I Married an Axe Murderer.

Madonna: I know what it’s called – I wanted to be in it!

Mike Myers: Did you?

Madonna: Yeah, but my agents thought it would be bad for my reputation. I read the script. It’s cute.

Mike Myers: Oh, good.

Madonna: Well, I’ll shell out the seven dollars for it.

Mike Myers: Seven-fifty, more like! Probably eight.

Madonna: I hardly ever pay to see a movie. I just go and grovel to, like, the manager and say, "Please don’t make me wait in line, people are staring at me," and then they let me in.

Mike Myers: I don’t have those problems, but…

Madonna: You have others. We all have problem, Mike.

Mike Myers: Oh, you gotta second? My life sucks. Help me, man, I’m sick! [pretends to cry]

Madonna: We’re all sick, baby. That’s why we’re in this business. It’s a prerequisite.

Mike Myers: Well, the only way that I can think to interview you is to do, like, a college-newspaper interview.

Madonna: So you ask me what my favorite color is and stuff?

Mike Myers: All those things, yeah. What’s your favorite toy?

Madonna: My favorite toy? I don’t have toys.

Mike Myers: You don’t have Legos?

Madonna: My favorite toy is my answering machine.

Mike Myers: All right, that’s a good answer.

Madonna: That’s the only thing I play with. Well, that’s not the only thing, but this is an interview. O.K.- next!

Mike Myers: What’s your favorite candy?

Madonna: Charms Blow Pops, because they’re hard on the outside and soft on the inside. [giggles] You can suck them or crunch them. And there’s always a surprise inside.

Mike Myers: [deep voice] Paging Dr. Freud!

Madonna: [laughs]

Mike Myers: Freud was just taken out on a stretcher right now. O.K. What’s your favorite dog?

Madonna: It’s a close race between a pit bull and Johnny Depp.

Mike Myers: Oh-ho! Saucer of mile, table two! Meow! Bing, bing, bing!

Madonna: Do I sound bitter?

Mike Myers: Nah. How about going out with Johnny Depp?

Madonna: My name is too long for a tattoo. We could never go out.

Mike Myers: Ahhh. [slyly] You know, they’re recording this.

Madonna: Is someone listening to our conversation?

Mike Myers: No. Nobody’s listening to it right now, but…

Madonna: They will listen to it. That’s the story of my life.

Mike Myers: It’s a little frightening.

Madonna: That’s all right, I haven’t said anything incriminating. But I intend to!

Mike Myers: What’s your most embarrassing moment?

Madonna: Right now.

Mike Myers: What’s your favorite picture in Sex?

Madonna: In my book?

Mike Myers: Yes.

Madonna: Or in your book?

Mike Myers: No, I haven’t brought out my sex book yet.

Madonna: I don’t have any favorite pictures, because it happened so long ago, I’m over it. I’m on to the next thing.

Mike Myers: I liked the book, by the way.

Madonna: Did you? You weren’t full of rage, like the rest of the United States? [laughs] Didn’t you think it was funny? Nobody got the funniness.

Mike Myers: Um, I thought it was very entertaining.

Madonna: Excellent.

Mike Myers: I have a question! You know, I do a character called Dieter…

Madonna: You do?

Mike Myers: Yes.

Madonna: Well, I didn’t copy you.

Mike Myers: Oh, man – like, I’m calling you right now and accusing you of plagiarism? [laughs]

Madonna: Well, everybody else does. Some woman is threatening a lawsuit cause she claims she has a book called Sex, and I apparently ruined her literary career.

Mike Myers: Oh, dear.

Madonna: Oh, Dieter! How many times have you been sued?

Mike Myers: I’ve never been sued.

Madonna: Just wait. One more year of being rich and famous and the lawsuits will just start rollin’ in like clockwork.

Mike Myers: I remember when I was sitting there with you and Roseanne, and you guys were sharing war stories. I thought, Oh, I’d quit. But here I am, on the job. Who do you relate to more? Barbie or Midge?

Madonna: Who’s Midge?

Mike Myers: Midge was Barbie’s friend.

Madonna: I don’t relate to either of them; I don’t relate to dolls.

Mike Myers: I’ll strike it from the record. Betty or Wilma?

Madonna: Neither. I don’t watch TV. I wasn’t allowed to, as a child. My father thought it was going to rot our brains. He forced us to read instead, and I’m glad he did. There aren’t that many people in this town who know who Blazac and Steinbeck are.

Mike Myers: O.K. Which of them do you relate to more?

Madonna: Steinbeck.

Mike Myers: Good, we’re making progress! You grew up in Detroit?

Madonna: I haven’t grown up yet.

Mike Myers: Could you.. just shut up?

Madonna: Could I just shut up and let you answer the questions?

Mike Myers: Shut up, shut up and answer the questions! The Detroit Red Wings are playing the Toronto Maple Leafs in the play-offs right now. Who do you want to win?

Madonna: I don’t really care.

Mike Myers: [hushed] Thank you, Dr. No!

Madonna: Would you ask me some questions that have a resonance to my life? This interview is mostly about what you’re interested in: toys and hockey.

Mike Myers: Is it more about me than it is about you?

Madonna: Yes, but don’t you realize that all interviews are?

Mike Myers: More about the interviewer than the interviewee?

Madonna: Absolutely. And all reviews are more about the writer than what they’re reviewing. They’re Rorschach tests.

Mike Myers: yes, this is true. Do you believe in psychics?

Madonna: Sometimes I believe them and sometimes I don’t, depending on how well their eyebrows are plucked.

Mike Myers: Have you ever contacted the spirit world?

Madonna: Probably a couple of times when I played Ouija board. I tried to contact John Kennedy. I said, "Show me a sign," and then the girl I was playing with, like, her mascara started running, so I was sure he was in the room with me.

Mike Myers: Why do I feel like I’m interviewing Sophie Tucker?

Madonna: Because I don’t shut up?

Mike Myers: No, that wasn’t a slight. You’re telling very funny jokes of a political-cum-bawdy nature.

Madonna: Is that sexual innuendo?

Mike Myers: No, it was pseudointellectual discourse.

Madonna: Oh. I can’t relate to those. Do you ever think we’ll do more than a skit together?

Mike Myers: Yes. It’s my goal for us to work together.

Madonna: ‘Cause I have this idea that we should do a remake of Some Like It Hot, only with you and Garth playing the Tony Curtis/Jack Lemmon parts. Sharon Stone should play the Marilyn Monroe part and I’m gonna play the bandleader. Only I want to change it slightly, I’m going to fire the Marilyn Monroe character for being unprofessional, and then we’ll see what develops from there!

Mike Myers: That is one of my favorite movies. Marilyn was brilliant. She was really overweight, but really, really sexy!

Madonna: That’s right, baby! So think about it.

Mike Myers: [phony agent voice] "I’ll have my people call your people."

Madonna: Our agents will have lunch. Now, what street do you live on?

Mike Myers: Um, is this gonna be in the thing?

Madonna: Oh, God! Who cares what street you live on, is all I have to say! There’s this fun thing to do when you want to stay in a hotel under another name. You take your middle name and the street that you live on and that’s your name. So, what would your name be?

Mike Myers: My name would be John Mulholland.

Madonna: [laughs] Sounds like movie-star name.

Mike Myers: A porno-star name.

Madonna: What’s the difference?

Mike Myers: We’re all porno actors, in our own way.

Madonna: We’re all prostitutes, on our own way.

Mike Myers: [slightly pretentious accent] Listen, according to Jean-Luc Gobard, in his movie Two or Three Things I know About Her, "We’re all just prostitutes, ourselves." So what’s your pseudonym?

Madonna: Mine is Louise Sunset Boulevard – don’t you think that’s pretty? It sounds like a movie star’s name, too.

Mike Myers: We live really close- you should come by for sugar sometime.

Madonna: I’d love to.

Mike Myers: Do you want to come over today?

Madonna: I’m getting my nails done. Maybe I’ll drive down. Could I bring my girlfriend Ingrid?

Mike Myers: Ingrid can absolutely come. We’ll have coffee.

Madonna: Well tawk. What color’s the house?

Mike Myers: It’s um…

Madonna: Oh, you don’t want to say that in the interview. I don’t worry about anything I’ve said.

Mike Myers: I’m always afraid. But you’re hugey-huge. [He tells her his exact address.]

Madonna: All right, so now I know where to go if I don’t like this interview.

Mike Myers: I never interviewed anybody before.

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OMG thanks for posting all these. They are beyond amazing .

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Only Madonna can talk about farts and make it sound classy.

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